archive | jan03 |

02-27-03
so where are we now
20:49
so then. the scoop.
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working a great deal - that is, many projects at once, many hours of the day. very 9 to 5 right now (though 5 is 7). will be in this weekend. on weekdays when it's rainy and you just have that feeling you really should be able to stay in bed. i'm not on any sort of official contract, but am expected to be there all day, each day. when i finish my current project (the toughest one, the one i'm not being paid for) i should have the "fucking hire me" talk. for now the work is still fairly interesting and i get to play with geeky film-tech stuff all day. and the people are great. go here. and reload.
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sometimes the work sucks though. today was: un:jkobashi pw:moms
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no time to myself anymore. think i get along well with the people i share this space with (jeff and fabiola) - both are good folks, and kind to adopt me like this. but i was a pretty good hermit for a while there, lived a rather isolated existence for a whole year. being around other people nearly 24-7 is a shock. right now they're out at a vfs event i should be attending, but after a draining day/week of commercial crap, the thought of being alone for a bit was too good to pass up. having difficulties with socializing in general actually. last week was at a bar/show/party and found myself not wanting to talk to anyone, just sat in a corner with a friend and drank. and these are good people, people i know and enjoy from my vfs time - really i'm surrounded by friends. but i just wanted outta there. was friendly/polite to those who approached me, stayed through the show and then fled. should be seeing those people tonight, but will see them tomorrow. first class i taught at vfs is graduating, and told them i'd go.
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put this up for my parents, who wanted to see where i live. it's a good place (interiors soon). would like to move the computer upstairs, nearer the kitchen and living room, my bedroom. blame awkward access for the lack of writings - actually spend very little time on the machine here now. at the old place computer was right in my living room, in the middle of everything. i could cook or watch tv and still do webwork or read the news. now she's in an office in the basement (actually, ground level - but upstairs is just better). on computers all day at work, so maybe being away in my down time is good. but miss it, miss this. in the back of my mind i'm even cheating on her with dharma, my old P1 laptop. (analyze that!). brad's a big fan of the 'computer in the kitchen' philosophy - using should be a part of normal life, not an event. these things are good things. man i'm a geek.
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but geeks run the planet.
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there are more drugs here, will not deny that. drugs and movies, major passtimes here. (and cooking - we shop/cook/eat like a family). this (drugs) is (is this) wrong, i know. but i'm a lonely artist, i don't smoke, i don't fuck, and i don't really drink. i don't even watch tv anymore - i have to do something, right. convinced (as i'm sure many are) that this will fix itself when it's time, and if it doesn't then i'll fix it. toyed with tonight's header as
fuck the rules, but decided against it. really, i'm all about rules. my dad's a banker, his dad's a general. i'm... not. but i probably could be.
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tomorrow i will get drunk. shit, maybe tonight i should get drunk. will follow this with the scotch dan sent for my birthday.
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am reading more though - hated the bus until realized i could read on't. right now am halfway through 'cash' by johnny cash. enjoying immensely. man is one of my favorite people. really enjoy learning about what older creative-types did when they were my age. have an early tom waits album, 'heart of a saturday night' - it's sinatra-type nightclub music, really fantastic. music to walk around the city at night, in the rain, 20 years ago. last week watched 'killer's kiss,' which stanley kubrick made when he was 26. makes the planet feel smaller.
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i am not allergic to the cat, which makes me happy. it has no name - fabs inherited it from a friend when he was but a kitten - and already named 'insane'. and since really, you can't call a cat that, he just gets 'kitty' (sometimes 'cat'). so when no one's around, i call him boris. i'll tell jeff and fabs when he starts responding to it.
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listen to this.

02-16-03
neglect
22:50
10 days. boo. whole routine changed when i moved here, everything's in upheaval. haven't been on the net nearly as much. eating better. sleeping less. working more. writing less; wrote nothing on my birthday. taking the bus. doing more drugs. changed my prayer. things are different. balance is needed.
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did, in a flash, go to sanfrancisco last week for mutual birthday celebrations. much fun and hangoverness. seems i just needed to flee - to hit my reset button between old place and new. maybe, i dunno, maybe just needed to not think about vancouver for a few days. here are 3 pictures from my flight composited - head of the man ahead of me, sunset out my window, and the airplane engine out my window. flying is still a blast (if an irritating one). american airport officials made me take off my shoes.
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let this site go to the point that the last entry froze on upload, and thus was left as only half a page, the naked code visible to those who knew it. i wanted to fix it, i really did.
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i don't know what happens next.

02-06-03
THURSDAY
23:43
typed title all in caps by accident, but decided to leave and see how it looks. can't stay biased against CAPS forever now, can i?
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week has been mad busy, can't beleive it's almost over. still unpacking, still struggling with transit. yesterday i had to buy music for a spot we're cutting, so i spent an hour and a half listening to new age... well, crap picking out CDs to try (of course no one at the record store really knows anything about new age, uplifting, classical guitar music... i assume because no one (ever, anywhere) actually listens to it). they do have these great lil kiosks though, where you can scan a CD and hear part of it (though they crash every time you push the "start again" button). it took me a while. enraged as i was by this, it didn't help when i emerged from virgin records in rush hour to find the van i'd been driving towed away. will spare details, but much calling and dealing with automated municipal telephone systems eventually got me to a guy at the towing yard who said, "where were you parked? yeah, you can't park there."
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took pictures of my cell phone. this one looks like an angel.

02-02-03
everything old is new again
17:53
and things are starting to come together. going out to the movies now. more soon. promise.
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22:30
see? back. saw chicago w/ kelly. it wasn't bad, lotsa singing and dancing and such. some parts were really well put together though, and great sound design. catherine zeta-jones rox. tango sequence was phenomenal. i hated the ventriloquist scene. rumble at the end made the picture for me.
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realized yesterday that most times i'm working five different jobs at once (at least, five different projects for five different people). circle, cycle, famous kids, olympics, and production (in this case, viagra). can't remember the last time i did something personal - i think this site is the only thing keeping me sane -no, scratch that - this site is a starting block, to get me thinking again. i'm writing, which is good. maybe a script will come out of this, who knows. the plan now is just to keep writing. and taking pictures. and cutting, and working, and...

eat me