_getting less and less original with titles, aren't i? something to work on.
_friday morning the avid dept skipped out on work and visited matrix video systems, to look at the new machines/software we're getting. 16 new machines in fact, 1.9gb processors and dual flatscreen monitors all of em. and the new software's pretty slick too. sexy as hell.
_something else happend on friday, but can't really remember what now. rented some movies and edited this weekend. fantastic weather.
_yesterday saw e.t. with kc and fa from work (made friends with young kid, carol - very clever, sharing of snack foods, etc... kids are neat). good good times. didn't see in the bedroom yet, but did see sexy beast and training day both.
_ptwf is up to 4.3 since i played with the car pic... quite pleased i was able to make it do that, actually. hope y'all like it.
_oscars tonight over at fa's home (probabaly take me an hour to get there... grumble). think i'm rooting for moulin rouge. lots of tough calls this year though. hmm.
_i really want a pet. even though i think all my plants are dying. sigh.

does size matter?

_meaning, do people here prefer long or short updates? i have a feeling many little updates throughout the week would be preferrable to one long one. sure, the long ones offer lots of new stuff, but they take too long to read. who wants to devote more than a minute or two to me on the weekend? i'll try and keep em quick, and frequent. of course... this little tangent i've gone on kind of precludes that happening today. erm.
_snowed this week. lots. people in vancouver use umbrellas in the snow - it's funny as shit.
_yesterday i ran out of milk and had to put mostly water on my rasin bran. it was gross.
_saw gosford park last night, plan to see in the bedroom this eve. gotta stay informed, right? also should try to see a couple "cultured" flicks before justifying blade 2 this weekend (fyi: blade 2 is gonna rock hard).

eggs and toast

_and coffee and orange juice, while i read the news and listened to new cds. good way to start a saturday. even if i do have to work in a couple hours.
_realized yesterday that i'm technically working 2 jobs now - ta for the school, and freelance on the survivor gig. so i'm always busy, always having more i could be doing... and somehow i still might not make rent this month. how is this possible? [subconscious to brad: rent is more important than new cd's...] [brad pushes subconscious into a hole and covers up with a rug].
_looking forward to being done with the freelance gig. stil haven't found any real routine, and always seem to have too much to do. posters laying on floor to be hung, dishes from a couple days ago always piling up, still pulling clothes from a large suitcase on my bedroom floor. tonight i'm supposed to meet with friends about music video project, and also go to a movie with vfs editing people. and i'm supposed to be editing today, and if i don't get in until 3, how much work will i even get done? then there's the doc about tea plantations in india, and the script that's still kicking around in my head...
_really shouldn't complain though, could be much worse. have friends who haven't done anything since graduating, and here i am... in town a month and already overloaded. should really just get down and be thankful.
_miss ontario people. realizing how odd it is that so many of the important people in my life have never met many of the other important people. had a dream the other day that four women from different cities, who've never met each other, were all together in a room somewhere. it was really strange. but kind of neat. maybe i'll try and arrange that someday.
_anyhow, everybody rocks.

so another day was going to go by
_...without me having updated - but being the superhero inside that i am, i decided to face off against the evil that is sloth. [note: results proved less than stellar]
_so i'm working a real full time job as an avid ta. it's pretty cool. i like the people, i get to work on editing machines all day, and when i'm not in class i'm cutting the survivor project. all in all, can't complain much.
_also working with some folks outside vfs to start producing music videos - there are very few places in town that do it, and at least one of em treats employees (read: volunteers) like shit. so we're stealing some crew from them and applying for a grant though videofact (funding organization setup by muchmusic to create/promote canadian content). if we find a decent band, it could be fantastic (we did find a band... but none of us has heard them yet. we're working on it).
_what else... still dealing (poorly) with the shift from "jobless layabout" to "working tiredguy"... survivor project is cool but means i'm working weekends too (which, it goes without saying, blows).
_trying to update more. today marks 8 days away, so apologies to few faithful readers. will do better.
_still working out. afraid that some food may've gone bad in the great fridge meltdown described below, and have been eating tainted meat for some time. really must throw away the salmon. eck.
_inherited a used vaccum cleaner today (from my boss!) and look forward to putting it to use (four weeks of moving, unpacking, and general living can certainly dirtle a carpet something fierce).
_still trying to get a photo set together for the pics section. may not happen till after survivor. we shall see.
_kind of lonley.
_(though really... what else is new?)

really must move this page

_since it's getting kind of long. was planning on beginning the archive with march, but it won't be happening tonight. and since i'm not even really in the mood to write, we'll all have to settle for the short synopsis of what's new and important.
_friday morning met with eileen regarding official job with vfs. was told i couldn't be hired until may (thursday i was told probably april, but that's kind of how things are working there now... it's budget time). however... mid-afternoon word trickled down to the editing department that one person was being moved to a different job, and that eileen would just hire me to compensate. no one in administration told us this, but we figured we'd wait and see. so sure enough, around six someone came and said my letter of hiring had been drafted and is to be signed monday. tuesday i'm to show up and there'll be an employment package for me. go team.
_so i should get to keep my apartment, and if i'm lucky go to the dentist again someday (benefits!). meanwhile, the survivor thing goes moderately well, and i'm hoping to have a rough cut by the end of this week.
_other news... weekend was rather uneventful. friday screening at the school was santosh sivan's the terrorist, which wasn't bad, but also wasn't that great. out afterwards for a few beers with fellow film geeks. saturday rested and unpacked, then friends over (mb, il, kc) to burn cds and play balderdash.
_today all about unpacking, cleaning up, getting things back in order. timeout for a walk with kc, then back to make dinner and write emails. hoping to have a diagram of some kind to show off the apartment soon. will work on it.
_x-files is now on. beginning of the end. could be cool. till...

9-5 bites

_well, not really... but after living on a completely unregulated schedule for so long (and doing basically nothing to boot)... well lets just say the adaptation is not going so smoothly. still showing up for work just fine, still working out and still getting some things done... but much frivolity has fallen by the wayside this week.
_so this weekend i promise a full update here, plus i'll email, telephone, or otherwise try to get in touch will all the wonderful people i've been neglecting. i'll also do the dishes, laundry, finish unpacking... eck. you get the idea.
_but hey, tomorrow i meet with vfs head-honcho eileen... that could be good (though i'll likely just be told i can't be hired until april).
_did make minor changes to the survivor logo below... may be noticeable if you really looked hard at the first one. looks slicker now.
_i'm quite tired. sigh.

should point out
_that i'm not about to get into any kind of commentary or debate regarding the cultural significance/position of the television show survivor (at least, not on this site...). yes, i watch the show. i watch a lot of television. how do i feel about the largely voyeuristic turn a great deal of modern television has taken? i'm not sure. but i do appreciate survivor, and will enjoy cutting a mock episode.
_that said, the show is only mentioned here on this page because of it's work-related significance.
_there, how's that for an unwarranted disclaimer?

day one (in a couple a ways)

_started at the school today. not much to say. working on the survivor project, but no tapes yet so i just made a logo. i kind of like it, though. holds up next to the other official logos for sure.
_no one's quite sure about how permanent my position at vfs may be, but ther're at least a few people rooting for me, and i meet with eileen (lady in charge) this week. we shall see...
_not much else to tell today. walked home, returned some videos, made dinner.
_and then, god help me, i started working out. will be at least semi-fit by summer, promise. i do live by the beach, after all...

oh yeah...

_should mention that just before starting this, i put on this sampler cd i got from a&b sound with my tv (which by the way makes dvds look jaw-droppingly fantastic). anyhow, the cd is absolutely godawful. it's all new ragerock type stuff... remind me never to go see staind in concert. ak.
friday... no, wait - saturday
_man, i actually forgot what day it was there. i gotta start working.
_let's see... wednesday was the meeting with vfs, then thursday i moved (picked up stuff shipped from ottawa). walked down around noon to pick up the rental (a huge white ford explorer - thought i was just getting a station wagon!). got mb then drove way out to the warehouse, then drove back. poured rain the whole time. everything was okay except a bookcase (for cd's) i made, which was smashed to pieces. think i can fix it... just have to buy a hammer.
_stopped on the way home to buy some plants, too - got a hanging lipstick plant, a yucca cane floor plant (to be named "zippy"), a small aloe vera plant, and a rubber plant for the bedroom (likely to be named "mistress rubber plant").
_unloaded all the crap, had dinner at denny's and then watched an eating contest on fox and empire strikes back on video with mb.
_friday returned the rental car, then broke down and finally bought a decent television. got that home then right out again to a vfs grad - class 80 was finishing and figured i should make an appearance. saw people from the school and was generally well-recieved, with at least a couple "so i hear you might be working for us..." type handshakes.
_home for dinner then out again for a party - tyler, who i'll be working with at vfs, had a birthday. good fun and too much drink... didn't intend to stay long but didn't stumble home until almost 1... and for some reason stopped to get a big gulp slurpee on the way. passed out until 3, then got into pjs and passed out again. ah, to be a film student again...
_today watched much on new television, went grocery shopping and rented some movies. watched bully this evening - was quite good. rough, but good. not for the faint of heart. reccomended.
_was going to volunteer on a video shoot tomorrow (p.o.d. with bif naked), but it's a late shoot and i'm working monday morning at the school on this survivor gig. plus, i really don't think i'm quite ready to be on set again just yet. people who know me will attest for my absolute love of change, and can surely imagine how well i'm taking this, being out of the woods and back in bc. good times now.
_on the plus side, the reality of a real job with vfs is looking more and more promising. won't say more for fear of jinxing it, but will keep you informed.
_good then. brad out.

_chuck jones died today.

gonna be okay

_today was, for the most part, a "everything's gonna be okay" type day. walked in the sunshine and listened to music. here's the rundown...
_met with fiona about vfs job this morning... things sound good. starting monday i'm cutting sort of a show for her - the vp of the company (vfs) is spending a ton of money and throwing a "survivor-themed" birthday party for his 10 year old daughter - they're deviding the kids into tribes and shooting a ton of video this weekend - on monday ther'll be about 12 hours of tape, and he wants it all cut down into one nice episode of survivor. so that's where i start. sounds... interesting. i was also told that the best way for me to get hired is to hang around and look busy, since they do need someone in a more permanent position very soon - there's even mention of sending me off on an avid technical certification course - which though it would officially make me a tech geek for a while, it would also teach me everything there is to know about my editing system of choice (technical mastery = creative freedom).
_then went over to budget to see about renting a car to pick up my stuff (all my crap from ottawa has finally arrived!), but they had no big cars. so i'm going tomorrow.
_tried to buy an adapter for my keyboard but the store didn't have any (that weren't sold with keyboards). walked home. very sunny. eveything's gonna be okay.
_tonight over to mb's for spaghetti and dvds and trivia games. slightly concerned about this situation, but not enough to explain now.
_unrelated dissapointment though, since there're no websaver flights to toronto or ottawa this weekend - was going to go for frances' 90th birthday, but will have to miss it (frances is an old family friend, owns the cottage i was staying at). will just have to send lots of flowers.

_so i'm getting a new fridge tomorrow. don't know when. miro will call. also meeting with fiona (re:vfs) tomorrow. don't know when. she will call. for now, i remain unemployed, and most of my food is in a box full of ice on the balcony.
_bad news: had to throw away my ice-cream, and had semi-frozen chicken wings for lunch. yuck.
_good news: t & l are in town! this evening they came over and then we went out for beer. found a pub just up the road. may have been a gay pub, not sure. either way, pleased to be drinking again. tim watched wrestling and we all talked about porn. i'm now at least a little drunk.
_my damn refrigerator is damn broken. i'm worried that all my food's going bad, and really don't know what to do about it. i called the landlord (message!) and stuffed a couple bags of ice in there. what else can i do? should i be eating all my food? i've got a lot of frozen food. miro better call back soon.
_did not go to the mall yesterday. might go today instead. yesterday finished unpacking the bedroom... now i'm all set until the next load of stuff comes on thursday.
_kc came over for a bit, then we walked down to soupspoons, a great little soup place on denman. i had thelobster bisque (fancy!) and a cheese sandwich. then walked back here along the seawall.
_going to call about vfs job now. wishings of good luck, please.
_update: miro just called, coming in 45 mins. just didn't want you to worry.

still here
_wow, been 23 for a week now... and living here for nine days already. will wonders never cease?
_friday went over and watched 8 1/2 at the school. it was good. fellini is nuts.
_yesterday hung around here for a while, then took a long walk. realizing that i don't really know that many people in vancouver... and unlike everything that's come before this, that's not very likley to change unless i make a serious effort towards meeting people. will take this under consideration.
_came home and watched ghost world, which was very good (despite warnings against by parties to remain unnamed). anyhow, check it out.
_think i'll go to the mall today.

_today's one of those days (which seem to come to me quite frequently) when you really don't want to do much. of course, i feel i've kinda earned this one... it's been a helluva week.
_but i'm settling in. still not dressed (a 1st for bc - usually dressed 1st thing). was waiting for miro (landlord) to come and fix bathtub pipes - apparently there was a problem and the guy below me got a leak. and i didn't want to get dressed until i'd showered... so i just waited it out. but then he came and i still didn't get dressed, just made pasta and watched the simpsons.
_think i'll go out tonight - something should be screening at the school, and it'll be good to see them folks again. i'll have to go through the ususal "what'd you do out in the woods?" stories, but then things should settle back to normal.
_now i'm listening to surf music and updating... sort of procrastinating i guess, protesting the rest of the day. monday i start the job (that being the job of finding a job), so this weekend is all about sloth. yee-haw.
_oh, and if possible check out this link - it's an animated film by don hertzfeldt... it's fantastic. saw it at a spike & mike animation festival, and now someone's got it online - 12.5MB, 9:21Min, and it's DIVX so you'll need those newest drivers (get em here).
_you can thank me later...

_so i haven't been up to much. unpacking nears completion, and i've exchanged a few good-vibe emails with potential employer at vfs. meeting for coffee early next week to see what's what, and i have a good feeling about it, which helps.
_il (fyi, bc people shall be denoted by double initials) has a friend who lives just a block down from me and who's moving to london then travelling for who knows how long... so he was clearing out his apartment! from this situation, today i aquired a small couch, coffee table, dresser w/mirror, and a bedside endtable! mb and il hepled me move the stuff down this afternoon (later mb an i went back for a shoe-rack and small bathroom shelf-unit too!). thank you trevor. my apartment is just swell now.
_after that mb hung around pretty well all day (il went to work). watched joe vs. the volcano and made cookies. sat and vegged for some time. nice day... but rough relationship-wise; kinda sucks spending valentines day with someone else's girlfriend (mb is with il). gak.
_also... found out this morning that a. is seeing someone in ottawa.

_man, i'm really getting beat up! i've got a massive bruise on my knee, another on my thigh, a mean cut at the base of my right thumb, scratch in the plam of the other hand, a stinging scrape on my forearm, and my whole right hand is throbbing from overuse of the screwdriver (not sexual pun... oh god).
_this is all from moving, mostly buidling furniture (man alive, i miss power tools) and unpacking big boxes. but almost done. kitchen and bathroom are set, living room is near completion i think. and my bed came today, so no more sleeping on the floor. my computer desk is swell, and was put together yesterday with just a screwdriver and an allen key! took all afternoon. ye-haw.
_and thus my home is starting to look more like a home, and less like a collection of boxes. getting more furniture on thursday, from a friend of a friend who's moving to england, so that'll help a lot.

it's that day again

_so i'm 23 now. that's kind of neat. slept late (mostly... people kept calling, but that's always okay, tis nice to be thought of, especially today). so i guess i just... lounged late.
_then eventually unloaded my chairs (picked up yesterday from old loft, but left in van), and returned the rental. bought a bunch of cds and cabbed home. have been slowly unpacking and organizing all afternoon, which i've acutally quite enjoyed. being by myself, and doing things just-so, arranged exactly how i like. kitchen and bathrooms are done... though living room is still trashed somewhat :)
_yesterday was the big shopping day - bought microwave, mattress, desk, and an ungodly amount of food, among other things. left at 8 am and was home around 5. out to mb's for lasagna, then over to db's to be social and watch movies (db was in class vfs 76, i was in 78). was tired, but was good to get out and see people.
_tonight out to malone's for celebratory dinner and beer. will be nice. have little more to say now. missing ontario kinda. royal tennenbaums soundtrack is da bomb.

22:19 PT
the move
_i'm so fucking tired. i never want to move again. somebody kill me please.
_up at 6, out at 6:30. bagel at 8. on plane #1 at 8:30. in toronto at 9:30. roam airport and use net terminal until 10:45, then onto plane #2. takeoff at 11:30. flight is long and boring. aircanadatango does not serve free (or good) food - i do not eat. the musketeer really sucks. deplane at 1:30 (vancouver time - 4:30 ottawa time - 8 hours after first departing this morn).
_get luggage, rent car, at new apartment by around 2:45. rented minivan is huge, and vancouver streets are very narrow - like in ottawa, but 6 lanes instead of 4. i am nervous driving. it is sunny but raining. think i hit someone's mirror with mine.
_shown around new place, looks lovely. unload luggage, then go to storage facility. take all posessions out of 2nd storey locker and put into van. sweat a lot. drive home. unload boxes and other heavy things, one item at a time, up two small flights of stairs. at 5:30, collapse on floor. weep.
_dig through boxes to find telephone. plug in. call home. bitch. call mb. bitch. call kc. bitch. unpack television, hook up. have cable. happy.
_go out to find food. bring home hamburger. eat and watch friends. mb calls. arrange to go to costco tomorrow. need to use... facilities. walk to drugstore and buy bathroom tissue. come home. facilitate.
_decide not to go to costco tomorrow, will go to wal-mart or someplace instead. call mb. turn on tv. sloly rearrange boxes and unpack computer. d calls. crocodile hunter is on. happy.
_hook up computer (on floor). phone jack doesn't work. begin drinking whiskey. move computer and all peripherals 3 feet to the right, and use other jack. reconfigure internet for vancouver. read today's news; MIB2 is going into 6 weeks of last minute reshoots. Lance Henriksen might be in T3. MGM is remaking Foxy Brown.
_at 10:20, update website. i'm so fucking tired.
_happy birthday to jk. 23 rules, man.

to hold the hand inside you

_up in 6 hours to get on a plane. all is packed, save the computer which'll go in a minute. should probably have something profound to say now, but really i don't. not really sure what tomorrow will bring, and even less sure about the weeks to follow. gadzooks my friends, gad-zooks.
_nice dinner and cake with family this eve. should go to sleep now but i'm not quite ready. talked to r. for a spell, which is always good and grounding. will post new contact info over at ftg for all interested.
_saw royal tennenbaums with a. tonight. dropped her off and then got lost somewhere out montreal road. u-turn. stoped trying to understand the relationship with her sometime last summer, so really i can't explain it here. needless to say i adore her, and wish things were different. perhaps one day i'll instigate change. perhaps.
_g'night ottawa.

why does santa hate me?
_so i'm cleanin out my drawers, packing things away, and i find this little plastic santa from a couple christmas's ago (not this year, that's as specific as i can remember). it's a toy, and when you pull down his one arm a jellybean falls into his bag, then when you release that arm the other one lifts the candy and hands it to you. it's all very cute. so i did all this, and smiled that this toy i'd forgotten about not only still worked but was offering me a treat! how fun, right? wrong! the candy i put in my mouth was the most foul horrid spoiled yellow jellybean ever to grace my lips. i yelped aloud and dropped the toy, and ran to the bathroom with the most terrible look on my face i'm sure. i spit the bean onto the toilet and through tears choked 'why does santa hate me?'
_then i packed the toy to take to BC. never will i learn, hm?
_packed most of my room into nine boxes and a suitcase today, and looking at the empty shelves it's more and more apparent that i'm leaving. my boxes could take as long as two weeks to reach vancouver, so hopefully the goods i have stored out there will entertain me for a while. not remembering exactly what i have stored out there, i'm bringing some books and a nintendo with me on the plane.
_also of note, moving companies do not like moving boxes of books and cds, and will make this known with a policy of shipping by weight. box of books = bad. box of pillows = good. dammit.
_chinese food for dinner had given me a mild msg headache. worth it though, as when i move i'm finally gonna straighten out my eating habits and try to get healthy. i've never really tried this before, so we'll see what happens. will of course wait a week or so to settle - apparently drastic dietary shifts + massive life upheaval = bad bad news (ie: comfort in ice cream).
_"and with that last paragraph, brad completed his transformation into a 30ish single woman."
hi. howsit going?
_eating a swell cookie c. gave me for going away. i should really go away more often.
_out tonight with the otawa kids, one last time before the big move. went to the duke and a good time was had by all, though only now am i getting nostalgic about moving... again, as usual. man, i really hope i don't have to change cities again for a LONG time. there's no way i could deal with this on any kind of regular basis.
_anyhow, picked up by d. from home, then downtown to get j. before hitting the pub. c & m arrived shortly thereafter, with r & m in tow. t. followed, stylishly late.
_the initals thing is stupid with this many names, and at this point only people i know read this, right? so i'm just gonna clear up that last paragraph: d=dave, j=jeff, c=christine, m=margot, r=ryan, m=mandy, t=tim. thanks for indluging me there, back to our tale...
_at the bar, the loud englishman who sells raffle tickets on tuesdays gave us three tickets when we didn't but any. then he called us all wankers, and told us to get real jobs. but then we won 23 bucks! the evening was made.
_d. kindly drove most of us home afterwards, j. first then a stop to check out c & r's new place, which was cozy and nice. they have a cat and a yellow upstairs. then en route to drop off mandy we pass someone familiar lookin... back up to find none other than long lost l(isa) walking home! hugs and greetings and phone #'s exchanged by all, then onward we go, drop off m. and then me last. goodtimes.
_meanwhile, the packing goes frustratingly slow, as might be expected. hard because i don't have any boxes (they come tomorrow) to pack stuff that'll be shipped, and don't wanna pack what i'm flying with until i'm all ready to go (which i'm obviously not, and won't be until next saturday or so).
_tomorrow should be the big crunch day, as i box most things up for good. everyone's wondering why i'm going to bc right before my b-day, and i don't really have a good answer, it just happened this way. we're celebrating at home tomorrow an thursday, and i don't even know if i'll tell my bc friends on sunday. we'll see i guess.
_good news came when i signed up for my new phone though, and they offered me the same number as before. sweet.

just realising...

_that i've got nothing to say right now. shovelled the driveway today, and then came inside to have soup. watched robin hood, prince of thieves on tv with m & d just cause it was on, even though i watched most of it on bravo! just a couple weeks back. the superbowl's on now, but i'm not that interested. watched halftime, and may watch the end, but looks like the patriots are gonna take it hands down.
_talked to a. this eve, and made tentative plans to see her thursday... fittingly my last night in town (at her behest).
_ i have a feeling this week is just gonna fly by.
missed 02-02-02

_and so i feel alittle bad, it being the groundhog day update, especially this year. didn't do much to talk about yesterday, but still it's the thought. plus i've always kind of thought of february as "my month," if that makes any sense. partially cause of my b-day, but also cause february just feels like the time when things finally get rolling again, when all the holiday festivities and time-offs finally come to an end and we really settle into the new year. makes sense, right?
_just got an email from dave in calgary, and "the grind" - the short i produced at vfs - has been requested for a short film festival in Eskisehir (Turkey). the english in the email i was forwarded was kinda rough, but the guy sounded pretty enthousiastic. the festival's in march and they'll put us up as guests if we only fly there ourselves. it's kinda cool (even though there's like no chance we'll be flying to turkey anytime soon). eman the DP might go though, she's in egypt right now.
_went out to breakfast with d and spilled my orange juice, then watched phantom menace with dad (who is sick with cold, much like everyone else in the house (but me)). played with roy for quite a while, and later out to watch raising arizona and have tea with j.

_power outtage today, so dad got bored and woke me up. sat around until mom came home, and power back on. big snowstorm today. warm & cozy inside.
_went to futureshop with pop to return my palmpilot... dropped it during the move and the screen stopped working. under warranty though, so i got a brand new one for free! upgraded too - the IIIe version is dicontinued, so i got an m125... stylin'!
_played scrabble with the fam after dinner - we had too many letters (letters from two scrabble games), so we filled up the whole board until there was no room for other words.

version 4.2
_updated the site with a new frame on the right, and a new way of doing these body pages. if it loads really slow or looks like shit on your system, please lemme know (but if you're using netscape 4.7 or below, i don't wanna hear it -i already know it don't work. upgrade your dumb browser, kay?)
_saw "Mothman Prophecies" with d. and it was really good. got my plane ticket, i fly off to bc next friday, the 8th. stopover in toronto, but the ticket was cheap (go tango!). if anyone in toronto wants to come chat with me at the airport for an hour, i'll certainly be around.
_called and emailed about the small apartment but haven't heard anything back... maybe i'll get my way after all (with minimal fuss). we'll see.

3 o'clock
_so the day after i rent my first apartment, i get a phonecall potentially offering me another apartment, this one much much tinier, but also substantially less expensive. it's not fair. i really want my too expensive 570 sq. foot, 3-blocks to the beach, balcony-posessing newly carpeted new apartment... but can i justify it if it's not the only one available? i'm emailing the new place today to find out more about it.
_talked to r. early today (after writing the post below), she's going through another awful time. wish her well. awakened today to go pickup d. from school, then home to watch crocodile hunter with roy. hopefully going to the movies tonight, and likely buying a plane ticket too.
it has been a DAY
_so today i moved back from the cottage. my mom was supposed to come up and help, but i called and said she really didn't need to - it's just an extra person doing the drive for no reason. and sure enough i was fine, got the place cleaned and everything packed up no problem by about 4oclock.
_of course, the car's still stuck in the snow.
_not really snow, most of our stupid snow has melted... but the ground directly beneath the tires is ice, so the tires spin marvelously but the car goes nowhere (and it's a 5-speed, so that just makes things even more fun). at this point, i remember that god hates me (or at least loves watching me squirm).
_so i shovel and bang and grind away the snow, and put ash from the fireplace and sand from the beach (dug up from under more ice) under the tires for traction. i pour boiling water on the ground and tires to melt the ice. i rev the engine and create the most awful looking mud-goop beneath my wheels, so gritty it's melting the snow all around... and still the car will not move, neither forwards nor back. i go inside and scream for a while.
_it's 5:30 and getting dark, so i call CAA and they send a towtruck (the towing company calls me back momentarily and says it'll be about a half hour).
_at 7oclock, there's no sign of a towtruck. i go outside and decide to give it one more go - i've loaded the car and maybe my stuff will weigh down the back enough to get the front over that 1-inch snow ridge that's giving it so much trouble. the car stalls, and lurches forward - but not enough.
_so i decide to try a "controlled stall" - i'll rev the engine and then pull both feet away from gas and clutch simultaneously, causing the car to lurch out of it's icy prison. i am in fact a master mechanic and know, (from my years of looking at engines from a safe distance and noting how dirty they are), that this is bound to work. i cross my fingers and hope that cars don't really explode like in the movies.
_i rev the engine, pull my feet away and shut my eyes... there is a lurch and i think the engine yells at me... and the car goes nowhere. BUT... it's somehow still running, the tires turning slowly, the car shaking...
_quickly (but gently) i get out, shut the door and head for the back of the car... then i go back and open the door again, realizing what might happen momentarily if this works. then i go back to the trunk and HEAVE... and again... and AGAIN, shaking the car up and down and grunting like a copulating moose... and it WORKS!!! the car jolts forward, out of the icy driveway, and begins rolling pleasantly into the street.
_i watch it with a contented grin on my face for a bit, and then run in a panic towards my escaping vehicle, now fast approaching someone's garage accross the street. i leap into the open door (legs dragging through the muck i'd created earlier), and fumble with the shift... but of course the clutch is out and thus changing gears not an option. i reach for the clutch with my left hand, and though i cannot reach it i do manage to honk the horn with my face.
_somehow the windshield wipers are now on.
_finally, i pull the emergency brake enough to slow the car, and swing my legs up to hit the clutch and drop it in neutral. i back into the driveway (but not all the way), and sit very still for a while.
_and then, after cancelling the towtruck, i drive home, fully in the mood for a 1.5hour darkened drive along winding hilly icy roads in the backwoods of quebec.
_get home around 9 and play videogames with d.

i really shouldn't be up now
_congratulate me boys and girls, today i rented my first single apartment. should be moving in next week. if only i had some furniture...

even when it's warm, canadian winters suck
_stupid car is still stuck in the snow. it's warm out, most of the snow has melted, the roads are dry... and yet somehow the area beneath my two front tires remains completely against me. the tires just spin. can't go forwards or back. this is stupid. i'll try putting ash under the tires, someone said that might work. till then i'm still in the woods. and i'll walk to the damn store.
_had something else to say, but now it's gone. oh, wait, got it - the book. i'm reading a book on production management for film and television. guhk. nothing to do with development or preproduction or shooting or actual on-set stuff... rather this is 260 pages about what happens in the production office. and this part of the business... well let's just say it's a little dry. i mean, i know it's important - one thing i've definately gotten so far is just how important staying organized with this stuff is. one has no idea how much crap goes on behind the scenes. just kinda wish i didn't have to know it all.
_sorry there wasn't much point to that last anecdote. i haven't eaten much.
too tired to think
_has anyone noticed that snl has gotten really good this year? it's gotta be some of the best writing on television, and the cast is loose enought that they really seem to be having a good time. the new weekend update has become a highlight of my week (this sounds sad, but i do live in the woods by myself).
_after snl watched "Dumb and Dumber" on showcase - tell me, when showcase launched, did anyone ever expect them to be showing Dumb and Dumber??! I'm not sure how i feel about a world where the farelly brothers have become important contemporary filmmakers.
_finally, there's a commercial a new video game called Bloodwake - we see shots from the game, with speedboats shooting each other to bits, and then a sultry female voice says "Bloodwake... set a course for destruction!" ...i'm not sure whether or not this commercial is being ironic... but either way i kinda dig it.

also still in my pyjamas, but feeling slightly more sccomplished
_the site is up. happy. think i'll put new posts at the top, it just makes more sense.
i'm still in my pyjamas
_up late watching tv last night, but didn't really watch anything memorable. julia sweeney's "God Said, Ha!" was on Bravo!, an it was pretty good.
_also spent a good chunk of yesterday just cruising the internet, which i haven't done in a while. stumbled onto a site and instantly became smitten with the operator... a tremendously unavailable girl in florida. my but do i know how to pick 'em.
_talked to r. on msn for a spell this afternoon. then spent a lot of time getting the site in order, think it's about ready to go up. learned some new java tricks about text rollovers an scrollbars, so that's kind of neat. would be nice to have a new picture series to go up, but nothing's ready and i may have to box up the computer soon, so wanted to have things up and going before the "big move."
_still don't have a place to live though, so really there's no hurry. should find out more this week. for now just biding my time here in the woods, relishing in the last few days of freedom i've got here. it's going to make going back to, you know... working really rough. (this is the type of thing which garners little sympathy from everyone, so please try not to resent me). i'll get what's coming to me sooner or later.
_been listening to this really old "classic soul" cd my parents got years ago - it's fantastic. jackie wilson and sam cooke. very cool.
_should i post these with the new entries at the top, or at the bottom?

everything is stupid
_bulit the navbar today. slept late, haven't eaten yet and the sun's already setting. i'd take a picture but the quickcam's not working now - the suns coming accross the lake and making the beige curtains bright orange.
_think i'll get some food soon. typing this not really focusing on what it says - rather just trying to fill the big empty space on this page to see if the design works. think i rather like it.

starting again
_so here we go, version 4. after a few weeks thinking about it finally started buliding today.

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