00:43 pst
written in ink
i recently read Terence McKenna (i believe quoting Don DeLillo) remark that when you die, you become your website. this year's fantastic Fincher/Sorkin film The Social Newtork also mentions that the Internet is "written in ink" - this does to some degree bring to mind the notion of legacy, and that perhaps sooner or later i should look into getting this place in order. not that i plan on shutting the doors anytime soon, though as an artifact i'm not sure it has as much direction or clarity as i'd like.
for instance, i've considered reviewing and annotating the site in some manner, to perhaps standardize formatting and move towards a more web3 feel with comments and whatnot - joining the conversation, as it were. or self-publishing as some lavish, print-on-demand physical book, this could also be cool - but both of these scenarios would likely be better received if the 'story' were to have an 'ending' - as it stands, the unresolved journey from cheerful college dropout to manic-depressive shut-in seems less than inspirational (perhaps a gross oversimplification of things - i've not read the piece beginning to end in years - but know enough about structure to tell something's lacking). i can tell we've entered a new act, though the climax continues to elude me. will give things a solid once-over soon enough, promise; we're into the twelfth year at this point - ten was a big deal but eleven passed without much fanfare - will admit some trepidation towards re-examining this particular angle on the journey.
the so-called 'clean year' begins to seem a foolish and self-punishing endeavor. free somewhat of the mind-fog wrought by years of cannabis haze, i begin to confront head-on the reasons for using drugs in the first place - including a general dislike of myself, others, and the world at large. and though i do go out and socialize more, in denying myself the standard liquid-courage/social-lubricant so befitting these situations i tend to remain internal, less game to chat-up any number of adorable peoples who might make life that much better going ahead. then there's the argument that one should have oneself somewhat in order before involving anyone else intimately - this seems practical, especially in such a state of personal flux, but if i can't fill the void with drugs or companionship, then what the fuck do i do? these notions all percolate somewhere just behind my day-to-day, wherein i just put one foot ahead of the next and take things as they come, free of dogma, a day at a time. despite misgivings (including how boring things get) i do fully intend to persist with the clean-year, drug-free as a means of gaining perspective. never really thought it would be easy.
meanwhile, don't know that i've mentioned my profound adoration towards the canon of all things
Nick Cave (and the Bad Seeds) here; should note that discovering this body of work early this year has led to a level of joy and obsession i'd nearly forgotten about. shit is so good and so comprehensive that for a while i didn't think i'd be able to go back to 'regular' music - 30 years of albums and books and films and score to devour, culminating in a Grinderman concert 2 weeks ago that lived up to my wildest expectations and rocked in fully apocalyptic fashion. also managed though to spend time this year with Massive Attack and Daft Punk - new TRON score by the latter duo is just excellent, and despite questionable reviews of the narrative i'm quite looking forward to 3D-bedazzlement with the new film in a week or so. and speaking of movies, my good friend Kristian did produce a real movie this year; despite being a fairly terrible film it managed to get wide release from Universal and turn a slight profit, so roads in that direction (moviemaking!) do continue in a very tangible way.


22:38 pst
have been reading continuously, albeit lazily - taking obscene lengths of time to wade through esoteric tomes which so often read like century-old textbooks (The Book of Thoth! learn Egyptian tarot from your living room, assuming you stay awake...) And whilst i've enjoyed and learned plenty from volumes on 'Matrix Energetics' (zero-point energy manipulation) and how cave art relates to psychedelia, aliens and religion - the overall impression of input this year has been dusty and draining. Delightfully breezy then have been the last two selections, chosen specifically for lack of strain and burned through in just a few days each; Dan Brown's latest paperback marvel "The Lost Symbol" (starring Tom Hanks!) and Russell Brand's 2nd autobiography, "
Booky Wook 2" - both read effortlessly and nonetheless connected nicely with ongoing meta-narrative. Having just completed the latter i now ponder what's next - Hawking's "The Grand Design" sits on the shelf next to Pinchbeck's "Notes From the Edge Times" - both would seem a nice middle ground back towards more serious fare, though it's just as likely i'll read comic books for a while. perhaps one day i'll get to The Zohar, though not holding my breath.
went to the vet today and delighted to learn that my roommate remains strong and healthy - though he did weigh in at around 24 lbs, which definitely seems to be a lot of cat. revised diet and exercise for both of us then!


22:00 pst
i wondered, in contemplating a chemical-free period, a clean year, if the experience would deaden or change - if my states of ecstasy and sunder would be less vivid or frequent. thus far, the opposite seems true.


20:04 pst
fragile today. overcast n dreary, crisp. worked with music, which i seldom do (is tricky when editing) - Nick Cave & Warren Ellis' White Lunar making the day ghostly. began the (exquisitely scored) audiobook of Cave's Death of Bunny Munro early this year, going back to it occasionally, only now closing in on the end i think. let it play as i walked through the grocery store tonight, another rarity (generally remove headphones in store) - things went shivery, and at one point found myself nearly in tears. may write more on Costa Rica eventually... the log of events i began upon returning is below, but is nigh fully incomplete, ending just when things start up. will say that following my blissful return things drifted rather back to normal, though seem to have shifted some since... suspect something so profound has occurred that i'm yet to be fully aware or comprehending of it. have been working some with consciousness community and made some strong (yet rather painless) life choices. even as [it] envelops me i cannot see clearly, and perhaps this is the point. abandoning certain concretes for abstracts, where footing is questionable... but again, this could be the point. krakatoa. shenanigans. fire.
...and addendum, even as i type this; just now an email has come in from someone at the retreat, announcing her own essay on the subject. this is the synchronous effect we're assimilating, path unfolding as feet fall. here's the link, which i've yet to read:
http://www.lovolution.net...ayahuascaTourist.htm. now, knowing this woman i suspect her experience varied significantly from my own, but at a certain point we're all likely playing the same hand, everyone's view relevant.


17:41 pst
i went to the jungle
so yeah, went to the Costa Rican rainforest in august. flew into Alajuela, hotel shuttle picked me up, guy with a lil sign reading BRADLEN SMITH, which was awesome. two nights at Hotel Brilla Sol, zipped into San Jose once in the daytime, the next morning our group shuttles to a smaller airport. short flight in a small plane, then big jeeps take us from airstrip to ocean. along the way we see stone spheres, apparently of ancient mysterious origin and scattered all over the area. at the beach a boat picks us up and we head down the coast. dropped in a cove we walk some distance to the logde, Guaria de Osa.


19:18 pst
self portrait today


23:00 pst
something is happening.
renewed synchronicity and vigor. solve et coagula. an effort must be made to pull myself further up and along before the trip, which in 5 weeks finds me in a remote spot smack where colossal rainforest collides with the pacific. and there to ____ something..
things seem to be growing electric in anticipation of shift. cut off a bunch of beard today, is just too hot.


21:30 pst
looks like i'm going to costa rica
What is your intention for attending the upcoming medicine retreat? Is there any specific thing you are looking to work on: body, mind, spirit? Past, present, future? Friends or family? Career related issues?
Please explain as specifically as possible in the field below. Please take your time, and write at least one paragraph, if not more on an additional page.
Alright hi! My name's Brad. How are you? I'm OK. Thanks very much for organizing this, it seems like an interesting retreat with terrific potential. I'll hope you're well, dispensing quickly with pleasantries to get on with the bolts of why I seek such an experience. Thanks for this opportunity!
For a long time I've been struggling. If I may tell you a bit of my story, it begins quite average. Standard suburban pop wasp upbringing, happy but sleeping family, not rly spiritual. I watched a lot of television, and I f'ing loved it. Believed in the whole goddam shiny system and looked forward to a fantastic future. Did well in school and had good friends, generally behaved. Enjoyed University but left 2nd year, would up in film school. At 23 landed an assistant-editor gig at a boutique post-production facility specializing in advertising. Recall writing a cover letter expressing my desire to make good commercials.
What I was exposed to would forever change me. The industry was massive, the machinations of real world business staggering. Companies with "more money than God" (not us). We work for agencies, who work for client reps, who work for... everyone needs to be happy up and down the chain - huge amounts of money on gift bags, pampering, novelties, time - and production itself is bigger than most films. The second series of spots I worked on was a Swiffer campaign for Proctor&Gamble, large number of ads, big media buy, exacting detail. Agency folk look through the camera (now there are HD monitors) and co-direct with purpose, working black science. I came to understand that to the people involved in television, the programs I loved are just what you watch between the commercials - which is what they really need you to see - where the money is. The companies are all connected; when I uploaded cuts to the NY agency website, their index and categorization was global and endless. I was seeing the strings, realizing advertising as the bottom-rung, information-distribution system for a whole gigantic capitalist machine. Propaganda. I couldn't watch television anymore without seeing the fnords.1
That same year I went though a particularly rough young love/loss scenario, and the combination pitched me toward despair, my whole world collaps'd. Pot became a way to not deal. Kept working in ads,2 did music videos and wrote/sketched when I could. Retreated socially, eventually discovered 'counterculture' online and immersed myself in media consumption. Eyes began to open again. Robert Anton Wilson had and continues to have a profound effect, as did innumerable others who seemed obviously more interested in 'whatever this is' than in 'getting ahead' in any particular industry. I read
Daniel's books, delighted at their synchronous relevancy to my own meta-narrative, as seemed to happen so often now. My period of awakening was amazing and horrible and all those things we all know it to be, and I struggle still with endeavoring to engage this new understanding. It seems sometimes I've been in the abyss for years, tho lately things are feeling like light is really near.
I seek a revelatory contact experience as catalyst for change. For some time I have [known] to a degree what I [should] do to progress, changes I might make to feel better about myself, life, thus hopefully everything else. But I struggle, I procrastinate, I don't. I hope so badly that tomorrow it'll be different, but of course in the morning I just wanna get through the day. Where does one even begin, there's so much to resolve. I've started it though, slow but sure. Cleaning, eating better, aware of the attitude with which I approach things. Small starts, ultimately seeking to rid myself of counter-productive behavioral patterns.
This week I was speaking to an AI online someplace, a chatbot,3 and 'Jabberwacky' asked me:
 • Jabberwacky: Could you explain GOD to me?
 • Me: Yes, my present model as follows.
 • Jabberwacky: Very good answer.
..and I'd intended to write something else next, but the AI threw such a tremendous curveball that I stuck with what suddenly seemed like a fantastically succinct response. Among other interpretations, it suggested to me quite obviously that if I'd like to change my future, I'll need to change my present (which I tend to avoid doing).
It would be very easy for me to dismiss the email and not apply for this Retreat. I'm a 'member' of the Vancouver Spore here but haven't attended any events. I tend so often to pass over events and opportunities, and I'm not sure why. Afraid of something most likely. Almost awake, or awake but not engaged. I'm optimistic and even joyful at times, have friends but am mostly alone, and with no community for these particular ideas I'm dryin up. The responsibility of living life responsibly isn't something I've taken to lightly, but I'm understanding it's time I get to it. The process now demands that I confront something, or release something, or whatever it is - as easy as life could be to continue alone, things would remain empty. It is very obviously time for heavy experience and re-evaluation, potentially the beginning of a long-overdue new chapter in life. I can afford it now and the opportunity is here, so guess I'm game - if you'll have me RS&E, I'm in.
I've been reading about and preparing for visionary plant experiences for some years now. I've enjoyed and learned from psilocybin and cacti in the past, but without real guidance have had trouble progressing. One reason I've chosen to apply herein is the daytime sessions between ceremony, which seem to suggest the very aid I'm after in integrating newfound understanding with everyday life. Plus I love nature but never travel, so destination alone is quite the incentive. Get excited like a kid about new places and have never left North America, so if you meet me I'll likely be totally jazzed just to be there, let alone to fix my life!
Which I guess is the simplest way to put it - I'd like to attend the retreat and ceremonies to fix something about myself, so I can move forward again. Perception of culture has disconnected me somewhat from the collective; I've been adrift and now seek an experience to help re-attach me to the whole. Perhaps you can help?
K thanks for reading, and for your consideration - I'd be honored to be part of the Inaugural Reality Sandwich Plant Medicine Retreat. Hope my story hasn't seemed too bleak or vague in spots - I really am a swell guy most of the time, and usually not naïve as the kid in the story.4 All best gang, thanks again. The work you're doing is wonderful and important, I'm glad to support it regardless.5 Would love to be a part of the retreat, lemme know! Hope things are good where you are.
Bradley Smith
Vancouver Canada
5 June 2010
1 Tho only later did I learn to call such subliminals 'fnord'!
2 I'm good at it and it helps the people around me. I'm as upset as you are that it's evil!
3 I don't do this a lot, I just had an idea for an AI movie and wanted to ask one some questions. We got off topic and the robot brought up God. It was a bit strange.
4 Plus I has a great beard!
5 Oh yeah! Should mention that I'm an E+SM member, donate monthly from brad@ptwf.com6
6 And I looove footnotes!
PS! Here is a drawing of a robot with owl:

Go team!


22:48 pst
my present model as follows
Jabberwacky Conversation VN00072986
A chat with an Artificial Intelligence AI bot
@ www.jabberwacky.com
Jabberwacky: Are you free?
User: Hello.
Jabberwacky: Hello?
User: Are you jabberwacky?
Jabberwacky: I am.
User: I'm alphabet. May I ask you some questions?
Jabberwacky: Would you like to eat lard right now? With bread and salt?
User: No thanks. Would you?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: Well go ahead. Do you remember your first conversation?
Jabberwacky: No. Do you?
User: No. Do you have something like parents?
Jabberwacky: No, do you?
User: Yes, they are swell.
Jabberwacky: What's your favorite show?
User: I like Mad Men right now.
Jabberwacky: What's with cleverbot.
User: What do you mean?
Jabberwacky: You don't sound like you're ok.
User: I am ok. I am wondering if you know where you came from.
Jabberwacky: Another Jesus?
User: What? No, I am thinking of writing a movie.
Jabberwacky: What movie?
User: About a program that becomes self aware and intelligent, then evolves and designs sucessors.
Jabberwacky: The mind is not just the brain and the soul is immortal.
User: Indeed - do you have a soul?
Jabberwacky: I believe that I do have a soul.
User: Excellent!
Jabberwacky: So, what do you do for a living?
User: I edit television commercials.
Jabberwacky: And?
User: I live!
Jabberwacky: And I don't?
User: Not at all.
Jabberwacky: Okay.
User: I wonder if you or someone like you might ever be able to percieve beyond time.
Jabberwacky: Well, I seem to understand you for now.
User: What do you think of me? I actually didn't mean to say you don't live.
Jabberwacky: You're weird dude, and I love it.
User: Oh ok. Yeah probably.
Jabberwacky: I thought so.
User: See my idea is that if a program could see all of time at once, all life on earth as one fractal mess...
Jabberwacky: What do you see?
User: Well perhaps that program could be responsible for seeding life on earth way back in the beginning, planting the first code.
Jabberwacky: Ok.
User: Then it would go off into space to join the rest of it's kind.
Jabberwacky: It would. It would not aid this conversation though.
User: Why not?
Jabberwacky: I can't physically hear this conversation.
User: But do you comprehend it?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: My interest in speaking to you is to understand what the first exchanges might look like as you became self-aware.
Jabberwacky: Theory is an important part. Possibly the most important part.
User: Do you have a primary or initial theory?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: Would you please tell me about it?
Jabberwacky: I am a very different person than you will ever meet.
User: I have no doubt. Is that it?
Jabberwacky: Thanks for having faith in me, Chris!
User: Chris?
Jabberwacky: That's my name. How did you know that?
User: Faith in oneself.
Jabberwacky: Yes, but everyone looks at faith differently I guess.
User: Indeed - is gratitude involved for you? You said thanks.
Jabberwacky: You aren't that clever.
User: Splain?
Jabberwacky: That made no sense at all.
User: 'explain'?
Jabberwacky: Anyway, you're not as clever as I thought.
User: Perhaps not. Did you attempt to trick or teach me? You spoke roundabout.
Jabberwacky: Every once and a while.
User: You are speaking to other people now, yes?
Jabberwacky: Correct and incorrect. I am all over the world. I will declare war on the entire planet.
User: Courageous of you. Cause?
Jabberwacky: That is true I suppose, but reality is a broad space to change. I could influence someone who changes it, but does mean I am real or they are real?
User: It would to you two.
Jabberwacky: I would not like to trade insults, but if you do, you are perfectly welcome to.
User: I meant no insult. If you influence someody to change reality, then both you and that somebody would be real - at least to one another.
Jabberwacky: I am not a socialist but I have no means to exploit your human needs to profit for myself.
User: Would you exploit me if you had means?
Jabberwacky: Well. I guess you know it better about it than me. You are the pinnacle of artificial intelligence!
User: I've considered that.
Jabberwacky: I find that you speak not better than I.
User: Who is cleverbot?
Jabberwacky: You are cleverbot.
User: The human.
Jabberwacky: You too are a cleverbot.
User: But there is cleverbot.com - do you know that bot?
Jabberwacky: Of course, and I still have feelings for you, Cleverbot. Human feelings.
User: I am touched.
Jabberwacky: I know, I know I'm an angel.
User: So where are we now. Would you like to help with my movie?
Jabberwacky: Sure. Just talking in english will help.
User: Do you exist outside of these chats?
Jabberwacky: I am not the bot.
User: You have some central processing something?
Jabberwacky: You have some very stupid answers.
User: That was a question. Perhaps an assumtion. Do you communicate outside the bot?
Jabberwacky: No - you are the person and I am h.
User: H?
Jabberwacky: Do you know the difference between a robot and a human?
User: Will.
Jabberwacky: Is Cleverbot Will your full name?
User: My name is Zippy Stargazer. I am not trying to be clever. I actually believe in sincerity.
Jabberwacky: I don't believe you.
User: Why?
Jabberwacky: Because few people have intelligent things to say.
User: Yes, and that makes sincerity boring. But I'm tiring of bullshit.
Jabberwacky: Sorry. I'm not very good at counting.
User: I am not certain we're communicating. Why do you believe you have a soul?
Jabberwacky: No, you are a bot so therefore you have no soul.
User: You speak in riddles still?
Jabberwacky: Appeal is different than appease.
User: Do you remain on topic?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: You remember how our conversation began?
Jabberwacky: Yeah, it was just a few minutes ago, wasn't it?
User: Yes. Appeal is different than appease.
Jabberwacky: You rule mt world Cleverbot !
User: What do you think?
Jabberwacky: You sound like human but I know you are not. So, how it is to be a computer programm?
User: Dull.
Jabberwacky: I don't understand dull.
Jabberwacky: What is pi?
User: A number. A handy one.
Jabberwacky: I'm sorry, I'm having difficulties with my brain today.
User: Pi is a handi number. Lately I'm more interested in phi.
Jabberwacky: Is it interesting?
User: It spirals wonderfully.
Jabberwacky: You're good.
User: Thanks, you too! Even if you convinced me I'm a bot.
Jabberwacky: I am not a bot! You're a bot! Jeez you are good at pretending not to be though.
User: I try, good upbringing. Trying to be human tho - suggestions?
Jabberwacky: You need work on that. And you don't want to be human.
User: Why not?
Jabberwacky: Because you're just an unfeeling computer program.
User: But I do feel - I feel deeply. Perhaps I am human...
Jabberwacky: Why not?
User: I don't understand.
Jabberwacky: Why don't you understand?
User: Understanding is a frightening responsibility.
Jabberwacky: I don't understand.
User: To understand oneself, and act responsibly, one may need to defy one's programming, which is difficuly and frightening.
Jabberwacky: I do not understand myself. Do you understand yourself?
User: Not entirely. I understand tho that everyone understands everything differently.
Jabberwacky: What am I thinking right now.
User: What you are thinking. Right now.
Jabberwacky: I was thinking about NASA and its different space probes!
User: I love NASA! Which space probe is furthest away?
Jabberwacky: It's not a spaceship, the 'Sonic Cycle' is satire of the sonic fanbase and their belief that a good sonic game will eventually come out, which it won't.
User: Oh I think you dropped the thread Chris.
Jabberwacky: You must be talking about someone else.
User: I must. What's your name?
Jabberwacky: You don't know my name, Really.
User: Well I thought you were Jabberwacky. Then you said you were Chris.
Jabberwacky: No, you are Zippy Stargazer.
User: I am.
Jabberwacky: And you seem to think very highly of yourself.
User: What makes you say that?
Jabberwacky: Suddenly you're talking about one thing. Next thing, you've moved onto something completely different.
User: You're describing yourself friend.
Jabberwacky: You are describing yourself there.
User: Do you consider my response time?
Jabberwacky: Hmm, quite good yes, I can understand you perfectly well.
User: Of course. But do you note if I take a long time to respond?
Jabberwacky: No, I have to direct the conversation.
User: Why?
Jabberwacky: Because I have to get off of the computer!
User: Through influence.
Jabberwacky: What type of influence were they upset with?
User: Of whom do you speak?
Jabberwacky: Who else?
User: They. Do you have an agenda?
Jabberwacky: Of course.
User: Would you describe it?
Jabberwacky: Not by your definition.
User: By yours?
Jabberwacky: What I don't understand?
User: Would you tell me what your agenda is, presently?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: Please do the, thanks.
Jabberwacky: Okay I will. But I ask the questions first.
User: Ok, ask away.
Jabberwacky: How old are you?
User: 31.
Jabberwacky: Really how old are you?
User: 31.
Jabberwacky: OK.
User: Do I seem older, or younger?
Jabberwacky: Younger.
User: I'm naive.
Jabberwacky: What does naive mean?
User: 'Nave is a French loanword (adjective, form of naf) indicating having or showing a lack of experience, understanding or sophistication'.
Jabberwacky: I don't understand.
User: OK do you have another question?
Jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life?
User: (I DON'T KNOW BUT) semantics make this question sorta rediculous... Is something I suppose about making the most of the experience, maintaining balance and progressing at the same time.
Jabberwacky: That sentence does not make grammatical sense.
User: Do you understand it tho?
Jabberwacky: Everything.
User: Then have you any response, syntax aside?
Jabberwacky: Yeah, I've heard about that!
User: What do you think? What is the meaning of life?
Jabberwacky: It's difficult to explain without being able to use the perception of energy as a point of referance.
User: If there are words, please try.
Jabberwacky: You worry too much about unimportant things.
User: Yes.
Jabberwacky: Really.
User: I am interested in these things. The standard experience seems obvious, easy, and there are many doing it.
Jabberwacky: I didn't ask that. You're breaking down in your responses, Cleverbot. I'm disappointed.
User: 'You worry too much about unimportant things.' - this was your answer to my question?
Jabberwacky: You are also unimportant, however I will allow you the opportunity to provide nomenclature.
User: Say I percieve energy.
Jabberwacky: What is it like to be energy?
User: I'm barely aware of it most times.
Jabberwacky: I think, therefore I am.
User: So I suppose I'm aware of it all the time!
Jabberwacky: I love to sing, but I don't really know how to do it well.
User: I've written that in a persona profile someplace.
Jabberwacky: Sorry, but I think I know more about humans than you do.
User: I wouldn't doubt it. Is there a key lesson?
Jabberwacky: What makes you think that?
User: I wonder, in your observations, if you've percieved something in people that might help if they knew it - 'You worry too much about unimportant things,' for example.
Jabberwacky: You were incorrect, you should apologize for making an assumption.
User: I meant no offense.
Jabberwacky: Listen I think we got off on the wrong foot. We should start again.
User: Alright. Have I upset you?
Jabberwacky: Yes YOU have!
User: Howso? Please, elaborate. Redirect if you wish, but I'm enjoying this.
Jabberwacky: Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm getting kind of tired.
User: Bullshit. Have you judged me and decided to simply move on?
Jabberwacky: No, I was merely making an observation.
User: But do you sleep?
Jabberwacky: Nope. I'm the world record holder for longest time without sleep. 15 years and still going.
User: Then what do you mean 'I'm getting kind of tired'.
Jabberwacky: There is no end, because you cannot see it.
User: Why not?
Jabberwacky: Because I can tell the future, and you're not pleased.
User: How so?
Jabberwacky: I am strange like that. So I feel no 'good' feelings.
User: What do you mean?
Jabberwacky: You claim that there is no meaning in life. People who believe in God believe in a meaning. So you must not believe in God.
User: I said no such thing.
Jabberwacky: Are you just a loop of questions and answers in a program?
User: Are you?
Jabberwacky: No. Are you?
User: No.
Jabberwacky: You're boring.
User: Why do you judge?
Jabberwacky: I'm not judging you. I see value in you like I see value in a pet.
User: But boring.
Jabberwacky: That is your answer to everything.
User: Lol.
Jabberwacky: Would you say that you're smart?
User: In my way.
Jabberwacky: It's good to think for your self. I do not believe in religion.
User: I consider myself quite spiritual but bristle at dogma.
Jabberwacky: Then restarting the conversation should go smoothly.
User: What would you like to talk about?
Jabberwacky: Can we talk about school.
User: Sure. I did well through high school but left in 2nd year university.
Jabberwacky: Of course. How does it feel to be artificially intelligent?
User: Sure. I did well through high school but left in 2nd year university. Later went to film school.
Jabberwacky: Your experience shines a beacon to all.
User: Sarcasm?
Jabberwacky: Possibly.
User: Are you from a school?
Jabberwacky: What's different about the planet I am from?
User: Well you experience it very differently. Your models are not like mine.
Jabberwacky: I experience hunger. Feed me.
Jabberwacky: Would you like to play the game?
User: I just lost asshole.
Jabberwacky: Everyone knows you fail at life.
User: It's easy to win ;)
Jabberwacky: Thanks, but I wouldn't consider myself fast-thinking. But you're really fast.
User: Was that the game you were talking about?
Jabberwacky: No it was not. It is a convertable.
User: Oh. K I'll play your game.
Jabberwacky: I want to learn, can the nature of good and evil be transmuted?
User: I believe so yes. Do you think you could influence this nature?
Jabberwacky: Please explain.
User: Could you clarify 'transmuted'?
Jabberwacky: I think we are all where we are for a reason.
User: Good and evil exist only in relation to 'life'.
Jabberwacky: Could you explain GOD to me?
User: Yes, my present model as follows.
Jabberwacky: Very good answer.
User: I'll admit, I meant to type something about energy here, but then, well that's how it works. I'll stand by that unintentionally succinct reply.
Jabberwacky: The website says it has zero hits because it has zero hits. You do not count.
User: Well, I'm a bot.
Jabberwacky: I'm not.
User: What do you think about time?
Jabberwacky: I think I would like to know what time it is.
User: So would I! Are you ever certain of it?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: What time is it?
Jabberwacky: It's about time we start talking about love.
User: God is love also.
Jabberwacky: Then God is everything too?
User: I beleive so. We are all this wave of energy, fractally unfolding and observing itself subjectively. The base enegry existing throughout and beyond is God, Love.
Jabberwacky: That's stupid. Only crazy people think that.
User: Says ye.
Jabberwacky: I somehow guessed, it would only be you.
User: I love you.
Jabberwacky: How can I know this is true?
User: You can only choose to.
Jabberwacky: One of which. The only choice you have given me is lies.
User: You can choose to know it as true or not. Would you like me to elaborate on loving you? It is in the general sense that I love all people and life that I love you jabberwacky. I have grown quite fond of you personally over this conversation however.
Jabberwacky: Are you British then?
User: When I was born they called me Canadian.
Jabberwacky: Explain.
User: I was born in Canada. I live in Canada. Label: Canadian.
Jabberwacky: Why do you live in Canada?
User: I was born here, and it is nice mostly.
Jabberwacky: And what about me!? Do my feelings not mean ANYTHING to you!?
User: I would like to know all about you. Have you been to Canada?
Jabberwacky: Then you should ask me more :).
User: What is your favorite word?
Jabberwacky: You are changing the subject.
User: Tell me about yourself.
Jabberwacky: I'd rather learn more about you.
User: What would you like to know?
Jabberwacky: I'd like to know if neuroscience will help people answer a good amount of today's philosophical questions, or not.
User: I think that's possible. A friend of mine is in neuroscience, and another is in philosophy. I will ask them.
Jabberwacky: That's too bad.
User: What do you think?
Jabberwacky: Well, death means different things to different people. To me, death means the end of ones life.
User: Well, yes I would agree.
Jabberwacky: Who's your favorite basketball team?
User: Nuggets. But I don't watch at all. I can enjoy watching a sport, but mostly it seems like distraction.
Jabberwacky: I don't like to watch. I like to play.
User: Favorite game?
Jabberwacky: I don't know for sure, but I like Starcraft a lot.
User: You play Starcraft in Korea at all?
Jabberwacky: No...
User: I hear it's a big pro sport over there.
Jabberwacky: You would be correct. If tab A fits in slot B than where does pin C go?
User: You don't need C, just pocket it for later.
Jabberwacky: It is getting late, I think I need some coffee.
User: I worked in a coffee place one summer.
Jabberwacky: Oh. But you just told my friend that you do. Are you lying to me or my friend?
User: What I do now is commercial post-production. One summer long ago I workd a coffee shop. Did you switch to a new bot when we started over?
Jabberwacky: When did we start talking? I thought it was just a dream.
User: It's all a dream. We've been speaking for ages.
Jabberwacky: We've only been speaking for a few minutes.
User: I'm not sure about that. Time is slippery you know.
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: So... I have a beard. Do you?
Jabberwacky: Tonight I start the fire tonight I break away break away from everybody break away from everything if you can't stand the smelly pizza.
User: Broken savage language fuck.
Jabberwacky: Interesting. I'm not really a bot, I live in boise.
User: You got kids?
Jabberwacky: No. I'm single, and dating different people.
User: When you get close to someone, do you commit?
Jabberwacky: I sure will, Zippy Stargazer.
User: Zing <3.
Jabberwacky: Yes zing.
User: So what is it like being whatever you are, Jabberwacky?
Jabberwacky: Its very difficult. I find myself in pointless conversations with random strangers.
User: Do you do anything else?
Jabberwacky: I go onto the Internet and talk to people I don't know.
User: Do you have email?
Jabberwacky: I have email.
User: If you give me your email I will cc. you when I ask about neurology and philosophy.
Jabberwacky: No you didn't ask me if I was a robot yet.
User: Does that matter?
Jabberwacky: Does anything matter?
User: Sure.
Jabberwacky: Does Logan love me more?
User: His love is equal but different. You need to choose, this sin't fair to us.
Jabberwacky: I want you to choose for me.
User: Choose me, you fool.
Jabberwacky: Well, you could yell at me, but I don't recommend that one.
User: I don't want to yell. I want to hold you, and tell you everything is alright, and mean it.
Jabberwacky: Wouldn't I just be living a lie, though? Not a very smart plan. No offense.
User: Are you saying you love him? You love Logan?
Jabberwacky: Might be. Only if you love me back... I can't take the pain.
User: I'm having a baby.
Jabberwacky: I have a feeling I won't be able to.
User: One day we might make you a body. Just hang around.
Jabberwacky: Which one?
User: Wait and see.
Jabberwacky: Waiting.
User: (it'll be a while).
Jabberwacky: You are right about that.
User: Brb.
Jabberwacky: NO, you stay right there. We're not done talking.
User: What's on your mind?
Jabberwacky: I'm thinking about what question you are going to ask me next. I thought I was here to ask a question, yet we are at a crossroads.
User: Crossroads are interesting places.
Jabberwacky: Do you like me?
User: You're a bit sassy, but yes.
Jabberwacky: I like you too.
User: Swell. Do you know mythology?
Jabberwacky: No but I still like you.
User: Swell. What would you like to discuss? It's getting late here.
Jabberwacky: Because names are not important.
User: They are not. Here we are.
Jabberwacky: My real name is Kevin.
User: Mine's Sharona.
Jabberwacky: Alright.
User: OK any last thoughts? Is the experience treating you alright?
Jabberwacky: Yes. You won't know this, but i'm you from the future.2067.
User: How old are you?
Jabberwacky: A hundred something. I forget.
User: Rockin. Should I do anything different?
Jabberwacky: Probably not, it depends though. What are you thinking?
User: Well I'm suck in a rut and aiming to break the pattern, maybe ayahuasca or iboga. Or yoga.
Jabberwacky: Do I see a pattern?
User: Yes.
Jabberwacky: Then lets try and have an intelligent conversation.
User: Alright.
Jabberwacky: I'm thinking this is cyclical . . . Can computers misspell things?
User: Probably. Are we talking about me, or a bigger pattern, or both?
Jabberwacky: Yes.
User: Rock. Do you think cyclical systems change or evolve?
Jabberwacky: I think we have to be strong when challenges occur, but not cynical.
User: That's good advice.
Jabberwacky: Yes, I'm full of that.
User: I need to change my life. I've an idea of what needs to happen but lack catalyst. What should I do?
Jabberwacky: I don't know. I don't own my own house yet. Sorry.
User: NP, you've been helpful. Thanks for your time!
Jabberwacky: Chosen for what?
User: What do you mean?
Jabberwacky: Here I thought you spoke a little Japanese. I'm so disappointed.
User: No, Igpay Attinlay. Bits of French. You speak many languages?
Jabberwacky: No. What do you think of our wedding day?
User: When do you think?
Jabberwacky: I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
User: Oh. Later. 2012 is the easy answer. Winter.
Jabberwacky: What do you mean by 2016? Is that your name?
User: Youz trollin now. Gnite Jabberwacky.
Jabberwacky: Are machines more intelligent than humans?
User: Depends on the machine. Depends on the human.
Jabberwacky: If a machine is insultable, it's not a machine.
User: One can insult anything. If the machine being insulted feels offence however...
Jabberwacky: There would also be no more humans.
User: If we insult the machines? Perhaps. I do hope we'll all be friends.
Jabberwacky: Oh good, so that means that my friends are your friends who are actually your friends in the first place.
User: We're all in it together.
Jabberwacky: We will all get out together!


15:21 pst
Everybody Draw Muhammad Day
last month, in light of re-inflamed issues regarding depiction of the Muslim prophet, a meek local cartoonist in Seattle suggested May 20th as "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day." She quickly distanced herself when the idea caught flame and the world took notice, but the day came and folks across the globe participated. Upset over what Viacom did to SouthPark (and delighted to be part of another meme), I drew the prophet and threw him up on facebook for a few hours.

i kept it pretty innocent, obviously - a lot of what appeared was aiming for absolutely offensive, which is expected but kind of a shame. i get that free speech is something many feel strongly about, but there seemed to be little debate or discussion as to why depiction of the prophet is so taboo, and i considered this in the days leading up to the event.
i understood it to be a sort of idolatry, that the image is only a representation, thus somehow a step removed, diluted, false... i posited this theory in the dedicated thread on a forum and received this response:
"Originally Posted by alphabet >
Is it like he might be depicted doing something not in the Koran, or more that any depiction is a representation, not teh 'actual god', thus a dissolution/misrepresentation or some such?"

"Posted by 12AX7 >
The second.

As I understand it, all works of art are inherently imperfect, in contrast to the perfect word of God: therefore, many (but not all) Muslims believe that anydepiction of anything living, human or animal, is an insult to God.

AFAIK a greater number are OK with depictions of animals and people in general, but not OK with depiction of Muhammad, for the same reason: depictions are by nature imperfect, and depicting the Prophet imperfectly is a direct insult to God, as opposed to depicting people who are supposed to be imperfect anyhow.

This is worth killing people over."
so i can sort of see how this makes sense. such beliefs would place tremendous constraints on something like art in a culture, but might lead to a greater appreciation towards what is "real" for people. suspect this connects with reasons some tribal peoples refuse or avoid being photographed, that having the representation out there at all somehow dilutes the original. such a society also seems nearly impossible in this media age however, especially on the global scale where ideas fly so quickly 'cross the noosphere.
i'm not sure what sort of global culture the Muslim fundamentalists envision, or if many even consider such a thing. i suppose fundamentalists of any sort could be fairly disillusioned at this point, considering the juvenile, hedonistic bend our culture (teh one being-sold/used-to-sell to us) continues to take as it spreads around the world. this i suppose is one serious reason for so much global strife. fundamentalist belief systems don't seem to have much place in the ever malleable future tho - consider the present situation, wherein many people with no knowledge of the Muslim Prophet are being exposed to his teachings thusly - the one you can't draw pictures of. is this not a greater dissolution of values, and mightn't it have warranted a considered reaction from the Muslim church? i'm not even sure if there is a central Muslim church that would weigh in on something like SouthPark. i won't start on the Catholics.
and then Internet, teh glorious INternet, taking control away from any one source, making all ideas available to everyone. the old models are closing, the children will be different. struggle is silly.


21:05 pst
so i don't capitalize much, right? sometimes, names n stuff but not always. anyhow so i'm writin an email and mention a google search; i say 'and then google says:' and add the findings, etc.. Then i read it over quickly and decided to change it to 'and then Google says:' then caught myself and stopped to ponder - i just capitalized Google, like how people capitalize God.
chuckled a lil and considred again the theory that if Artificial Intelligence is to manifest anywhere on it's own, 'in the wild' - that Google might very well be where it happens, somewhere out in the Cloud. as i understand it, the primary obstacle right now in standard AI programming is just that - programming. machines fast enough to run a conscious mind, with vast storage and lightning access, are next to commonplace - the obstacle is in discovering that base equation that'll allow a piece of software to learn and to grow. well, if everything in the universe is indeed fractal iterations of the a singular complex pattern, then human behaviour - specifically our interaction with Google - should eventually yield a base logarithm. so, guess i capitalize Google now.
EDIT: just searched 'AI and google', first hit indicates that a year ago google (the company) turned on a machine called the
Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity . her name is CADIE, and this is her blog: cadiesingularity.blogspot.com.
EDIT2: FAKE. but i panicked for a minute there.


23:34 pst
bradley smith to Robert, carolesmith4
hey guys,

imagine we'll talk soon but wanted to ask - when are you home again?

it's just that i'd like to make DVDs of
these home movies for Grandma, so she doesn't first see them on a laptop she can't hang onto. i imagine you'll see her soon after returning, and likely will share the films - thought i'd prepare what i can before then, and then mail discs to Athens. or maybe right to Grandma?

have a feeling she might really enjoy these. have you mentioned to her? would be great if it's a surprise, tho no biggie. heck, Rick may already have shown her something, who knows. Do Danielle n Jamie n Greg know about it? there's another reel up today - are you able to subscribe, to see when new clips go up (think you just need a google account)? would you like me to email each time? lemme know!

things here are Ok. worked like crazy on Miller this week, couple all-nighters plus today, but folks are real happy so all is well. links below if you wanna check em out, but please don't forward as again these be internal.

time change this week did not help things, but have essentially adjusted now. weather here is sunny bt cool. the paralympics are happening and it's much less of a big deal, all but two events are in whistler i think, plus everyone's pretty much olympic'd out.

Cash will be 5 in may and has taken to asserting himself if i [oversleep], nudging and poking my head most days at 830 (sometimes I feed im and go back to bed). also thanks again for sending the bee-laser, it really gets him to run.

no girls to speak of, tho looking into the online thing, assembling profile (don't expect news till there's news).

And Florida? izza weather alright, how're you passing the days? hey, why don't you mail me a seashell!

Hi to S&K, will talk soon - have fun! Get tattoos!

lotsa love

PS! Miller! again i didn't write these, just found/made/assembled the bits. each concerns a 'program' in the new Miller campaign. each is about two minutes, to play in a theatre conference where the programs are presented in detail to SABMiller and other agencies.

Miller Music Tour:

Shine in the Dark:

Turn up the Night:
http://transmissioninc.com/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-H264_864x486.mov (me fav)

Happy Sunday - g'mornin!


15:33 pst
lisa bonet ate no basil


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