robot christmas
18:20 est
hello everyone.
hooray everything!


137,688 People


life coach


hi. so i live in vancouver now, and so far it's OK! i have a decent apartment by myself beneath a house in Kitsilano. the neighborhood is awesome, and some friends helped me paint a few weeks back, so the place is well into feeling like home. all my stuff from ontario was shipped out after i'd settled, so now it's here too and things feel a bit more permanent (tho still plenty to unpack). think all the back-and-forth earlier this summer confused my system a bit, but more or less back on track now. no internet at home yet, but i'm mooching wireless from [somewhere!] for now.
i'm working editorial most of the time now. cut some ads this year, the moral ramifications of which i'm not too sure about, but we're a new company and need all the work we can get. also got to work with some FX guys, which was a good experience. working now on promo bits for two potential series (lifestyle/documentary-style, not scripted). both were initially intended for
BET, but now ESPN is interested in one, which is pretty cool. we've been shooting that one for a few months now, and tomorrow [today/this weekend] i'm assembling the pilot episode. the whole thing is a bit intense... i've hired an assistant, and will likely bring in another editor next week - big job, lots and lots of footage. one of our guys was shooting for it in China last week. if the show books we'll be turning around ten 22-minute episodes, plus whatever else comes through the door, post-wise. have moved editorial from one small room into two larger ones, and put in a big server to host footage this week...
so doing ok. Cash seems settled, and tho we both miss Daisy i think he's doin ok too. regret some that i didn't get to take my planned sabbatical in Athens... those few months would've been good, and i can see in my day-to-day the result of not taking the time. just old patterns, habits, stuff i'd hoped to work out come creeping into the new life. so endeavoring to be vigilant, eat right, be social - biggest issue is the work/sleep/nothing-else routine, so doing my best to avoid this. out with folks a few times a week, which is nice. drinks w/ friends from work this week, and dinner w/ becca tonight, good. not as concerned about diving into work full-on, long as it's temporary - simply because the work itself is more interesting than what i've done before, and seems to be building towards something good. expect the primary show to consume me for a while, but that the finished product will likely be stronger for it.
not really working on my own stuff though... have made a few notes on [ROBOTS] but no hard scripting, no new animations. part of my moving-out deal did involve the purchase of a Windows machine for the office so i can animate at work, so if ever things slow down that's something. plus we're partnered with a pretty rad visual effects group across the hall, and the notion of buying a mocap suit for my project has not been laughed away. everyone's keen to branch into features, develop our own projects, so could in a pretty good spot.
s'all for now. the trailer for Richard Kelly's Southland Tales just dropped, and it's a nice big WTF. finally going to see They Might Be Giants on tuesday, and am getting excited. tonight very much enjoying Cowboy Junkies and Band of Horses.


yesterday morning i got a phonecall, waking me at about 5am. my cat Daisy, staying with friends in Ottawa, seemed ill - she was weak and lethargic. i was asked if maybe she usually gets this way before a trip - she and my other cat Cash were scheduled to fly out to vancouver that afternoon. Daisy was taken to the vet right away, and immediately diagnosed as 'moribund' - quite dehydrated, with a low body temperature. she was given some fluids and a warming blanket, and i spoke to the vet, a nice woman called Dr. Shingle, discussing how best to proceed. Daisy was described to me as 'pretty far gone'. we decided to run some blood tests, to see if what's wrong was anything obvious. some time later i got a call - Daisy had stopped breathing. her bloodwork was quite abnormal - she was anemic, with very few red blood cells - her blood wasn't carrying enough oxygen to her brain and other organs. they'd inserted a tube and were breathing for her via a machine. it seemed unlikely that she'd come back. a little after 9am, i asked the doctor to tell Daisy that 'god is love,' and put her down.
i adopted Daisy (and Cash) in the fall of 2005. at the time she was about 7 months old, and had been abandoned (immediately after being fixed, it seemed). she was always shy and very tiny, and took a long time to come out of her shell. Cash was a big playfull cat who'll love anyone, but Daisy hid a lot, and when she finally did warm up to me it felt real special. she'd curl up with me to watch tv, and slept beside me most nights. Cash always wanted to play but Daisy just liked a good snuggle. later i came to regard the two of them sort of as representations of two sides to my personality - one curious, excited and playful, the other cautious and a bit fragile, afraid of the world. leaving them when staying with my folks and later moving to BC was hard, but i remained anxious about finally getting them out here, having my pals around again.
so yesterday was really bittersweet. i'd been preparing the house for their arrival, setting up food and cat-litter, made beds for them - even found the food Daisy likes best (Cash'll eat anything, Daisy was particular). the morning came as a shock and put me in a sort of daze. i walked to work, and found myself imagining her walking along beside me - she seemed happy. the workday was crazy, overseeing a mastering session gone wrong and meeting with an agency about a last-minute edit for nike i'll be doing next week - i'd booked the weekend off to spend with the animals, settling them in. i picked up Cash at the airport and finally got him home around 10pm, whence he seemed quite happy to be out of his travel box. he's settling in but i think he knows something's amiss - he and Daisy were very different but have never really been apart. i'm glad to have him here though, he's curled up behind me on the couch now.
the vet said Daisy was probably sick for a long time, she suspected leukemia or something similar. the hardest part of the whole thing was not being there, this lil piece of me dying across the country (though in truth, that might've been even harder). i'm glad at least she could be comfortable in her last hours, it would have been awful to pick her up at the airport and find she hadn't made it. i'm really going to miss her, her tiny featherlite paws and near-silent lil purr. my parents are burying her on the grounds at their house in Athens, by the lake. am sure she's comfortable, and in a better place now. Daisy was awesome, somethin really special. g'night, angel.


still in freefall. letcha know.


vancouver tomorrow. wish me luck.


limbo [@ the end of history]
in athens ON, waiting. job in BC seems certain, but details must be finalized before peeps can make me an offer, whence i'll move myself out there permanent again. could be next week, could be next month... enjoying the solace out here, fresh air and wildlife, but hesitant to find routine... so a bit bored actually, restless. went to the doctor today, first time in years, just a checkup - blood pressure's a bit high but otherwise doin OK. eat right and exercise, but i knew that. will fix me.
can feel time [slowly|quickly] collapsing on itself, everything changing and happening at once. media rushes new ideas faster than ever. controversy is mostly a buzz word. recycle until nothing's left. sense conflict growing as the old world fades away, blazed out by everything new. faster and faster. synchronicities everywhere. the way out is through. buzz buzz buzz.
also, you know how sometimes something is so awesome that you're sure it couldn't possibly get any awesomer, but then Optimus Prime pulls out a fucking sword? go see


right now i'm only in the 'Vancouver BC' regional group ('cause it looks pretty much like i'm moving back there in july). be my friend! find me under 'Bradley Smith' - y'know, this guy:


vancouver! though for how long who knows. at the end of may, it having become obvious that i'd nose-dived in toronto (the details of which may be discussed at a later time), i decided to leave. so in less than a week, life was packed up and i shipped off to athens ontario, to live temporarily with (oh god) my parents. just before leaving toronto though i was contacted regarding possible work in vancouver - shortly thereafter this was confirmed, and so after only a week of settling in at athens i boarded a plane and shipped off again to bc. i'm here for just under two weeks, staying now w/ my friend kelly and editing a piece for nike basketball/brand jordan. the job is due on the 11th, i'm returning to ottawa on friday the 15th.
looming prospects suggest that a return to living in vancouver might be in the near future, though i worry about the idea of returning to the very type of work that drove me out of toronto. the project i'm on now is pretty cool, but is definitely a part of an industry (marketing) i'd essentially rejected four months ago. i enjoy the notion of working on interesting projects with good people, but fear i'd end up whoring myself again eventually to pay the bills. my plan leaving toronto was to spend three months in the country, athens, to heal myself mind body and spirit - that i should be across the country working after only a week is not an unwelcome development... however.
my family, of course, is being supportive, though allergies prevent them from accepting all i bring with me these days - my cats, Cash and Daisy, were welcome for the first week but have now been relegated to staying with a colleague of my mother in ottawa. the foster family seems nice enough, though i'd rather not leave them living with strangers for months on end. they are my pals, and i'll miss em. this is perhaps another impetus to get back on my own sooner than later, be it here or there. dunno dunno dunno.
for now though, things fly by. as mentioned the project is cool, the first time i've worked with HD material, and the dual-core xeon mac pro machine i'm working on is out of this world (two 23" LCDs!). if we're successful with this it could lead to a much bigger campaign, potentially employing me for some time and maybe even getting me out of debt. i've developed an outline of my robots project as well, and was surprised and excited to discover the the unexpected ending before leaving TO. might really have something there, though won't be able to focus on it again for a few weeks. the future remains an unknown, and right now it seems almost shockingly current.




fractals are very cool. click...


monday morning
working now, but not really into it. finishing up a wedding video that needs to ship to BC tomorrow, then delivering cut of a corporate video by thursday.
'Fog of War', Errol Morris' doc on/with Robert McNamara, is on PBS right now, keeps distracting me. really good film. Morris' next is about Abu Ghraib. the worst thing about editing is that you can't really have anything else on in the background while working, even just music will throw me off eventually. need to focus on just the one A/V stream, or everthing gets messed up.
watching 'Twin Peaks' this week, also very good. has me hankerin' for some damn fine coffee. perhaps a slice of pie. this entry is all about stalling i think.