12-08-05
3 Days Of The Condor | 1975
22:07

 

12-05-05
family
22:01
december. man. winter. work is fine, new office. getting cold. not really much else... reading still. isolated, but doin alright. will enjoy the holidays, excited; booked a car today. ottawa in less'n 3 weeks. bringing cats. everyone's allergic.
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today is my grandma's 86th birthday; she was born in 1919. in january she and my grandpa will've been married 65 years (they were both 21!). holy crap. happy birthday grandma, you kick some ass.
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double-click to play

 

11-15-05
void
11:56
keep trying to write something here, but also keep putting it off. random fillings: saw jarhead last night, good. two cats, cash and daisy, good. cash always wants to play, keeps attacking daisy, so she's afraid of him. figure they'll grow out of it. tv, having a blast with lost. halloween, wore a suit and tie; dressed as a grownup, scary. no more beard. reading about space, time, and magick. neat stuff, crackpot. enjoying tremendously works by and about grant morrison. the invisibles. kicking dope this week. eleven months of limbo, time for something. trying. toronto is cold and rainy, advertising remains distasteful. broke. at work, office pug keeps begging for food, wants a bit of my scone. everybody wants something. what do i want?

 

07-28-05
almost august
21:14
to say. dan came up last weekend, that was very cool. canada's wonderland, rollercoasters. drifting, enjoying the new building, most of it's working now. further away, but more around. still don't have anything on my walls at home (nor at work, for that). white. trying to want it, trying to try.
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wonderland:

 

07-05-05
tuesday
20:27
uuuuuuuuuhm. tuesdat, spattakat. ottawa was grand, armprior and fireworks, norway bay and great food, lake; mushrooms. war of the worlds. and i saw some neat cows. i drank some good beer. with some good people. i rode the bus. twice. back on druqs tho, bad shit :(  here is a picture i took of a cow:
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also

 

06-22-05
savin lives
20:09
walking to work today, between the subway and my office i see this lil pink blump, kinda flailing around in the sun on the sidewalk about a block from my office. i step so my shadow falls across it, and it calms down some... bend down to look, it's a tiny baby bird, eyes closed, no feathers. crap, what do i do here? look up, i see no nest in the tree we're under, its branches at least 12' from the sidewalk. debate moving it to a rock nearby, in the garden in the shade... but good will prevails, i scoop the animal onto a folded sheet of paper in my bag and walk with him to work. a woman is just leaving her house nearby with a child, she suggests i call the humane society.
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at work my boss shrieks when he sees the lil pink thing i walk in with. i call humane society, they tell me to call wildlife control, i do but their system is automated and i leave a message with my info. i have the bird in a small bowl lined w/ paper towel, in the sun to stay warm but shaded w/ sheets of paper. the message tells me not to feed or water the animal until i've spoken w/ one of their people. the bird makes little peeping sounds and flops about a little, yellow beak so i think it's a robin. i talk to it, and surf the internet some, seems indeed to be a robin; also, that myth about 'don't handle a baby animal or the mother won't take it back' is apparently bullshit. the bird cannot see, but when i put my hand above it opens its moth and flexes for food. net says featherless chicks are to be fed every 20-30 minutes... i leave another message for wildlife control.
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they call back, i speak with a woman who says i must get it back to a nest as soon as possible. shelters will not take an animal so young, and it's already missed feedings. if i cannot there's a woman 3 hours out of town who may take him... failing that, i'll have to take the chick to be put down. it is very important, she tells me, that i return the chick before it opens its eyes. if the animal sees me before it sees another robin, it will imprint upon me, and be unreleasable. she says imprinting is permanent and irreversible (line from AI flashes through my head). she tells me what to feed it (moistened cat food) should i need to, but that this is not a permanent diet and won't sustain the chick long term. she basically says it's all up to me, i thank her and say i'll do my best.
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i go w/ sarah, the intern from our office, and we look hard at the tree i found him under. we see what seems to be a nest, but it is at least 20' up. walk down the block to a plant nursery where i ask to borrow a ladder - for what, the man asks, and we show him the chick, tell the story. the man is named matt and he walks with us and a long ladder back to the tree - we extend to its full length and i climb the tree to find what appears to be a dried, empty squirrel nest. look around, i see no other birds nest in this tree. again, crap.
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the woman from earlier returns home, i tell her we're looking for a nest, she suggests where one has been on her neighbor's property annually... but it's not there now. then matt from the nursery speaks up, says there's a nest in the annuals section down where he works, that if we can get past the protective momma robin it could be the place. we go down, sure enough in the beams above a sheltered section of plants is a big robin sitting atop her nest. i climb up and reach out, she flies off - rearrange the ladder and i look in the nest. there are two blue robin's eggs and a very young pink chick. this looks good. sarah hands me our chick in a bowl, and i plop him into the nest. wish him good luck and climb down. i thank matt, mention we'll check back and we walk back down the street to work.
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through the day i hope the momma robin returns, and that the young chick is not rejected, tossed again from the nest. after work i stop in the nursery on my way home and see that yes, the big robin has returned to the nest. i can hear the chick from this morning peeping from up there too. matt says yep, you can hear both chicks, and the mother's been feeding them too, flying in and out - our suggested adoption seems to have been a success. i thank matt again and head home, kinda pleased at the whole deal. goooo wednesday!
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double-click to play

 

05-25-05
hey whassup
22:18
howzit goin? i'm alright man. movies tonight, saw unleashed, was badass. starwars was good too, go see starwars, see it now. you've already seen it? go now! R2 knows everything. that's awesome.
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weekend was movies n sleep. went out, saw LCD Soundsystem w/ M.I.A. at the opera house, good good show. dancin, sweaty, rock. james murphy might be a genius.
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job goes and goes, four+ months in now. a good setup i think, lotsa freedom; can pretty well do whatever i want so long as i keep my lil end of Circle runnin smoothly. usually lots to do, but can be productive in the meantime. last week did a piece of artwork for a friend, for a short film he just shot; i also made a spec spot (see below!). now hopin to focus more, the key to everything seems to be focus, progress, makin it happen. still thinkin about time travel, other dimensions n crap. miss my old glasses, but pretty well used to the new ones, kinda like em. today was summer, no jacket just t-shirt - and i walked to work! fuck the subway.
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made this last week, mostly thursday friday. go smith!

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05-16-05
john titor
20:47
so last week i became a bit paralyzed when i read the story of john titor. i've since come to grips with it a bit, though suppose i'm keeping an open mind. the tale's been around since 2001, but as mentioned i only just discovered it; in case you're not familiar, i'll recount the events:
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in october of of 2000 a man called John Titor (initially timetraveller_0) showed up on the internet, posting in forums and chat rooms. he claimed to be from the year 2036; said he travelled back to 1975 to fetch an IBM 5100, which has the ability to read old IBM mainframe code, as well as APL and basic. folks will need this to correct a Y2K-type UNIX glitch which'll hit in 2038. his mission was for the military, his time machine a 'C204 Gravity Distortion Time Displacement Unit.' it was made by GE; he posted pictures of it, as well as scans of the operating instructions. it's an iron box a couple of feet long, "powered by two, top-spin, dual-positive singularities that produce a standard, off-set Tipler sinusoid." he had it in a corvette, moved to a dodge truck at some point. the box weighs about 500lbs, as it contains two electron-sized black holes which enable the unit to do what it does. he says these microsingularities will be accidentally discovered in a few years at CERN in geneva.
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john goes on to discuss concepts of time-travel paradox; the 'grandfather paradox' (what happens if you go back in time and kill your grandfather when he's a child?) is essentially null and void. according to titor, an accurate model of the universe involves all possibilities occurring at some time, somewhere; multiple universes existing in tandem, infinitely. i believe this is theorized as the Everett-Wheeler-Graham model; john speaks of six known dimensions essentially folding in on themselves to create what we know as the visible universe. he refers to our 'worldline,' and how it differs slightly from his own; this being the case, his time machine is only accurate to a range of about 60 years - traveling 'distances' greater than that results in an unpredictability about what you'll find there. (i'm sure this is all better explained elsewhere; links below). for example, if you wanted to go back 2000 years and meet Christ, you'd be much more likely to wind up in a world where he was never born. as a result of this knowledge, proven by 2036, spirituality and notions of good/evil become much more openly discussed given that there may be infinite 'you's' making different decisions in parallel existences; where do notions of truth/soul enter the picture?
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the concept of a society where spirituality is much more prominent/open than is the case in the largely belief-less world we seem to be living in today is to me appealing. what's troubling however, are john's descriptions of what happens to the world to bring us to this point; his descriptions of events between now and 2036 are a bit extreme. it begins with civil war in the US.
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in john's worldline, civil war breaks out in the US in 2005. it begins slowly, he describes it as a Waco-type event occurring monthly, with conflict escalating until in 2008 people realize the world they thought they lived in is essentially over. martial law turns the american cities into police states - the governments assume people are willing to trade freedoms for security, and they are wrong. by 2012 the conflict involves everyone in the country (i'm not sure what happens to canada, though he says we go through a similar chain of events. apparently when things come to a head, ours is a slightly safer country to be in). the war is not about land, but about rights and virtues. john says of the war that the best thing you can do is find 5 people within 100 miles of you that you trust with your life. get a bicycle and learn about firearms. 'safe is where a hungry person can't walk in three days.'
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instability in the west gives china the confidence to expand, and they attack japan and korea. conflict also erupts in the middle east, and united european armies march west from germany. The american civil war ends with a brief WWIII, when russia launches nukes at the US, europe and china. the US cities being destroyed brings victory to John's side of the civil conflict, as the police states and much of the government are obliterated. Russia, of course, is retaliated against. titor says the war's not so bad. the bombs are much cleaner. about three billion people die.
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life, he says, becomes much more community-based. everyone pulls their own, eats vegetables and livestock they raise themselves. he also predicts a pandemic of Creutzfeldt Jakob disease (CJD, or vCJD; the human form of mad cow disease); this he says will be fully devastating, as it's discovered to have a gestation period of 10-30 years - in 2036, people are still dying of it. life becomes about rebuilding, moving forward, and evolving as people. as mentioned there's a spiritual reawakening of sorts, and life becomes, for lack of a better word, exiting again. one of the most haunting things titor says is 'I think the war would be good for you and your society. I don't want to stop it.'
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in march of 2001, john said he was returning to 2036 (though first he had to travel back to 1975, as he's altered our worldline, perhaps substantially, simply by arriving here and communicating; the time-travel technology he speaks of does offer a system of returning directly to whence you came from). john titor left the internet and never posted again. there have been a few imitators, but none could ever fully corroborate his story. a google search for john titor will reveal loads of links to his original postings, analysis thereof, and of course his detractors; he has become something of an internet urban myth. if you'd like to read a detailed account of the whole shebang with images and external links, i'd suggest johntitor.strategicbrains.com.
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now... i realize that this is most likely a hoax. it's certainly easier to accept as such. but given this, on examining the materials at hand it is surely a respectable hoax, if not a brilliant one. if john had an agenda, it wasn't for political or financial gain; he never asked for any money, nor did he even expect to be believed at all. the visuals are pretty nice, tremendous effort for someone to fabricate. he communicated over a span of about six months, and never again. someone's compiled most of johns original posts into a book which you can buy cheaply online, though most if not all of the information remains free on the internet.
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if john titor had an agenda, more than anything it seems to have been sociological in nature. and as i find myself on a precipice, about to dive in and devote myself to propagating corporate capitalism as a career, i'll admit that reading this stuff shook me up a bit. i do wonder what's important to me, and notice a lack of passion for the life i'm embarking on. i shall endeavor of course to look at my career in commercials as a means to an end, that if i don't get on with the means i'll never get to the end... but still. i do often feel like working in this field makes me a part of the ever-growing problem. i guess... i'll see.
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this was a big run. spent most of last week thinking about this stuff, less now. hope all is good with you.

 

05-01-05
tonight
01:41
tonight was a bit of a ride. resigned myself to watching movies, eating junk, staying home; then went out w/ kristian for food, movie. bad mexican, then a bar; teatro, drinks. home time, feels done... then ran into some production cats, drank more, smoked. followed 2 girlz to a club nextdoor, octopus. freaked out, nearly nearly left; generally, i do not club. a tad overwhelming. but stayed, part of a new effort. drank. danced. did my best with a girl, leah,; decided to go for it. saturday night, what else am i doin? SHOT DOWN. she ends saying 'call me for a massage;' she's a masseuse, gave me a card. i've never had a massage, will call, but no longer expect to bang her.
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pleased with the effort, a start i think. have learned from my experience... next time reckon it's important that i, y'know... talk. will work on that.

 

04-29-05
i'm not going to lucid
00:42
no way! buzz is to good after a great show (natural too! most toxic thing i've consumed today is a can of clam chowder! ... well and the scotch i just poured, but nothing till now). but yes, fully jazzed after a great time, final fantasy, wolf parade and arcade fire; wasn't gonna jinx it with a party that just seemd... skanxious.
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instead came home, watched the daily show and drew robots. tomorrow work, weekend, might cut some; inspired. tiger comes out tomorrow too, and the geek in me's geeking out for it HARD. fixed my glasses with those lil krazy glue tubes, seemed to work out okay, i've been wearing em. still might go lens-shopping on the weekend, will see.
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04-26-05
tuesday...
20:59
well then... that was pretty unprofessional, wasn't it? really must be more careful, that last one kinda got away from me, emailing folks in a stupor and tumbling over furniture... hehe... but don't think i didn't pay for it sunday; man but i was hurtin. and my ass still smarts.
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now tuesday, listening to soft disaster and really enjoying it... working on some website stuff (not mine) and a video treatment (that won't submit for a month now, so guess i'm not workin so hard on that one...). out last night with the whole circle crew; really just our staff of four and two bosses in from BC. sushi then drinks... think we all got food poisoning, but otherwise swell. likely out again tomorrow, thursday is arcade fire, and have been invited to a playboy party the same night... not sure if i'm game but may give it a shot after the show, see if i feel daring. think this week'll fly.
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still wearing my old glasses.

 

04-23-05
slowsaturday
17:43
it's pissing rain, cold and grey outside. slow saturday, nothing to do all weekend really, no plans at least. laundry and groceries, perhaps tomorrow. today up okay, rasinbrancrunch, lounged about; then out for a walk, blockbuster and lcbo. couldn't find anything at the videostore, just roamed the isles and wondered why in the hell Indiana Jones movies are now 'youth restricted viewing' - my youth was all about Indiana Jones, dammit. more successful at the second stop, booze and fastfood; now drinking and watching oliver stone movies, think i'm just getting started. gooooo saturday.
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19:49
talked to mom n dad on the phone, things are good, then talked to brother dan, his life, like mine, goes as it goes... sat on the back of the couch and tipped over backwards, tumbling over cushions into the table, spilling water and whiskey everywhere... crap. my hair, floor is wet; cleanup takes a bit. run OSX software update. back to the movie.
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20:29
sat on my chair, office chair at the computer, and fell off backwards. landed on my tailbone. hurt like a motherfucker, shrieked something awful, tool 3 advil, damn. finished watching u-turn, was good if bleak. any given sunday is next. realized i still can't type without looking at the keyboard, should've learned right at some point, shouldn't i? guess this whole exercise is pretty indulgent, who reads this? friends i've got from highschool (all i've got that counts?) but keep going -- whatever. good for me, stay relevant? drunk now, obvioulsy. trith? qu'el truth? reach for the stylus, dictionary.com to find defonityion of 'trith' --find my drink instead. spill it before i can finish this sentence, really. wipe up, check again - 'trith' isn't a word; turn on a light. my ass still hurts. realize this is indeed a record of debauchery, a document of drunkenness. smile at the similes and sign off again, long live rock. pity me :)
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when the alls bend, when the walls ben, when you breath ein, when you breath in...go itunes! (same entry, end 20:45, bjorkk now, bjork! 'this is my home... i live by the ocean... and during the night... i dive into it... down t0 the bottom... UNDERNEATH ALL CURRENTS... and drove-uninteligleble... and this is where i'm staying... this is my home...')
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22:39
emailing old girlz, friendz being sad, drunk; enough you'd think, but will keep watching movies, keep drinking, fuck everything. right? anygivensunday! -

 

04-21-05
vision
21:01
tuesday i broke my glasses. took them off, i was cleaning em on my shirt, the same way i have every day for years, and they just snapped at the bridge. there was barely a sound - they just came apart in my hands. it sucked. i've had these glasses for like six years. it really bummed me out. rocked the scotch tape for a while, tried a few kinds, but they fell off my face all day.
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so now i'm wearing my old roundish glasses from highschool, wondering when i'll get around to finding new specs. need to be tested, my prescription's a few years lax, and have thought about lasers... but still a bit wary. dunno, dunno. not so fond of the old pair i'm now using, so will hopefully figure it out this weekend. otherwise, the week is dull but it passes nicely. three months in toronto and any newness has gone kinda stale... wondering what exactly happens next. and realizing, of course, that the answer's nothing, nothing unless i decide to do something more. so i'm kinda workin on that too. maybe i'll try superglue; i bought some superglue the day they broke, but haven't tried yet. the weird thing is they didn't have regular krazy glue, just these little tiny 'single use' tubes, four lil krazy glue tubes in a jar. i don't think they're re-sealable.
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double-click to play

 

04-03-05
vidblog1
15:31

double-click to play

 

04-02-05
movies
23:06
so i just saw sin city. it was pretty cool. i have no idea how a regular audience will react to this film, though as one who's been reading these comics since i was fifteen, i'll admit i got giddy a few times. but i have no idea how it plays to someone who doesn't know exactly what's coming, pretty much shot for shot straight translation. the house was full, and people seemed to dig it, though i think there were a few walkouts too. it's long; one things for certain, that's a whole lotta movie to take in at once, three stories. moves fast, pretty brutal by the end. i'll probably see it again this week.
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this week also watched the corporation; have been hearing about this movie forever, a vancouver production that ed callaghan, one of our famous kids coconspirators, was involved in; so tapes have been floating around our circle for months and i didn't catch theatrical, but finally rented it when twas released on dvd recently. anyhow it was great. highly recommend to all. lots of information, some new to me some not, but presented all together works well to paint a fairly chilling portrait of what seems to be the dominant structured power in the world today. intense at times, perhaps a bit overwhelming, perhaps a call to action. still easy to watch and enjoyable. seek this one out.
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aside, not much new. home to ottawa for easter, a good time though overdid it saturday night w/ dan and spent most of easter sunday being miserable. did enjoy home cooking though, and continue to enjoy the leftovers mom packed up for me. work is boring, but independent projects... well, fill up my time, (which'd be great if i weren't a mildly lazy procrastinator). building a website for an art-director friend in BC, wrestling with the IFRAME principal to load spots; Safari n Firefox seem to like it but IE's a bit tricky, and i haven't used Netscape in forever so who knows. writing a quickie video treatment to make deadline thursday, building a reel for a friend now who's now in town but movin to South Africa, and putting off the taxes things as best i can. recon tomorrow's about these things, and receipts. i have called an accountant. she seemed nice, though didn't call me back. i will call again. two years of freelance employment have left me taxationally-bewildered, and i think i need help.
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today toronto's cold and windy as hell, rain and sleet and snow at once. good night for sin city. there are cardboard boxes on my balcony, and a pigeon is sleeping in one. this is cool.

 

03-20-05
and i fell on the ground and looked at some clouds
00:42
this morning watched JFK. then went for a walk, rented some movies. also bought the incedibles and a bottle of scotch (nb: which drug is worse? one i can buy in the store, so i s'pose...). then home, watched JFK again (commentary), followed by errol morris's fog of war; a heavy day, to be sure; but entertaining, thoughtful. also compressed some video for the damn media section, will have it all up sooner or later.
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no real human interaction to speak of, save lengthy stroll though blockbuster... fuck i need a girlfriend. will see...

 

03-18-05
i want so badly to believe in good
22:54
in everyone; in colleagues and coworkers, in jackals and strangers, in criminals and those who would shit on me. ever-trusting, i look earnestly at everyone and take people at their word, almost always. i think i'm doomed.
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this evening i tried for the second time to buy grass on the streets of toronto. i've been trying to quit, have nearly quit, but it's friday night and damned if all i wanted to do wasn't score some drugs. that the film i saw tonight included Saint Clare of Assisi smoking a phat blunt didn't help matters, but the choice was still mine. i walked home from the movies, cruising down yonge st, then back up yonge st, down bloor... eventually arriving somewhat dissuaded at my complex of apartment buildings. that i obviously should've gone upstairs at this point is clear now, should've been clear then, even more so after thoroughly combing the grounds of my six-highrise complex and finding no sign of my illicit substance of choice. but of course i can be stubborn about this sort of thing, argue with myself briefly and just keep walking as the internal debate quietly rages. before long you do see someone sell something to someone, and you catch up with him. you tell him what you want and he can help, he can do that for you; but he sells crack, we'll have to go to his buddy's up the road for what we're after. and he's personable, you make conversation, tells you his name and you shake hands, though the name's gone as soon as he's said it; bad with names, it seems. and shortly we're at the building, where he doesn't live but has keys, (you realize later); you don't mind waiting outside, right? not at all, actually hoping not to have to go into some strange dealer's building, this works. the mistake of course, happens now; trust established, barely questioned, you give him the money. 'you're comin back right?' 'course man, wait right here, gimmie two minutes.' you wait then, look at your watch once to see what time you part ways. time passes. you don't look at your watch, conscoiusly; don't expect him to be two minutes, obviously more like five. what was his name? eventually you check your watch, shit it's been seven minutes. wait more. prepare for when he emerges, to say 'thank you my friend, you've restored some of my faith in humanity,' trying hard not to remember the last time you bought on the street here, when that guy sold you a lovely little bag of frozen green newspaper. you wait, fifteen minutes now. people pass often, a girl with pigtails and glasses says 'good evening' in a surprisingly friendly way; that was weird, go after her! but you wait. twenty-five minutes, i'm being fucked. shit, i'm being fucked. walk quickly around the building, circle the block, read the names on the buzzer nothing familiar. why does this happen again, you're awfully pissed. why do you trust? he sells crack, must have some cash to trade upstairs, why not wait for him to come back to give the money, do a proper exchange? feel stupid. just want to get high, isn't there some kind of companionship, understanding that this is something we all like and can't we help each other out from time to time? in bc you forget that it's even illegal, it's just there, it works... but the reality is that there's no honor among thieves, it's been forty-five minutes, and you just gave some crackhead $25 to teach you a lesson you really should've learned by now. the short walk home is brooding, but more sad than angry, wondering why you're so soft, so trusting (naive?), and if it's really that obvious to everyone but you.
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as before, this is a sign; i must quit, at the very least must not have it at home. have avoided setting up a 'connection' here, and now am two strikeouts for two when it comes to buying from the street. hate that this happens to me, worry that it's my upbringing, raised soft in the suburbs in a bubble of hope n trust not suitable for the real world... but wonder if i haven't just ended up in the wrong part of the real world, am struggling to function in a world very different than the one i was prepared for. accepting this is hard, because i want so badly to understand people everywhere, all facets of the human condition... and i suppose that want may be jaded, biased towards the hope of finding good everywhere... perhaps i am naive, terribly so in fact. and that's a bit crushing inside. shit.
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i guess the good news is that i've stayed off the pot for another few days, go team. drink my last beer and listen to Duritti Column, will masturbate and go to sleep. at least it's the weekend.

 

03-18-05
the day after st. patrick's day
16:06
i am at work. that is, i'm not at home. this is good, though i am bored. it is friday, and i would probably rather be elsewhere. there's work i could be doing, but nothing crucial, nothing i can't let end-of-friday-procrastination push off a bit. ahem.
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st patrick's day was kinda dissapointing; not that i'm ever big to go out and get smashed on green beer, but now and then it'd be nice. was going to attend a [memorial?] screening of fear and loathing in las vegas, but allowed myself to be persuaded otherwise, so out w/ kja for the aforementioned green booze. much mutual bitching about this city, this business, and home early so kind of a lame evening. bah! no plans this weekend but nonetheless looking forward to the down time. groceries and laundry n shit. good times. maybe i'll write, have been writing spec spots this week and enjoying what i produce. perhaps i'll get to shoot something in the coming months, and that'd be rad.

 

03-09-05
cocoon
23:39
keep meaning to do this. work has ramped up, so i've gone into hiding. careful not to slip. have decided (again) that i must live... right. at the very least i must live BETTER. i think this is very important, and i'm so very bad at it.
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i guess i really better try this time.

 

03-02-05
american idol and the beginning of the end
23:56
so celebrity is american royalty. american idol, like much of the reality tv wave, has radially increased the chances of anyone with any sort of talent or charisma becoming celebrity, even if only for a few minutes (at best, a few years; excluding the rare exceptional). this accessible 'open market' of talent seekers (they come to your town!) is quickly and efficiently culling through the talent pool; sooner or later it's going to run dry. everyone willing/able will come and go, every archetype used and reused until extinguishment. it may take fifty years, but with everything seen and done people will finally get bored and tune out, and look to something more tangible for fulfillment. the economy will buckle as people set their own priorities, financial and otherwise. celebrity will become superficial and the revolution will happen.
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holy shit, The Rock is playing the Doom guy. that's awesome.

 

02-27-05
bored, waiting
18:59
waiting to go out, have had a slow afternoon after letting the rest of the weekend escape me. out friday, satruday morning watched the forgotten (forgettable), then pick up mom n pop at the airport, returning from a week in sunny florida. they're out to a party last night, i FINALLY see the incredibles (incredible), then coffee and home, folks sleep on the pullout couch. today breakfast w/ friends and mom n dad, they leave and i sit at home, killing time till the oscars. not that excited, haven't seen a lot of the films this year, but watching w/ friends from circle and rooting for the home team; one of our directors is up for best short film, so if a badass irishman wins you know we'll be going nuts out here.
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just prior to typing this, accidentally clicked on my exploding dog link; haven't been in ages and seems i still really like that site. awesome. going out now.
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UPDATE! 00:06; Charlie Kaufman won an oscar!!! (so did Michel Gondry!)... Martin Scorsese DID NOT! justice in the world remains unbalanced...

 

02-23-05
2005, totonto
22:00
OKAY. it's been a while. it's 2005. the future is now. holy crap. though really, seems i always overreact to new rungs on this century. i've dealt, i'm dealing.
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back in toronto, it's winter; real winter, the kind i've not had to face in a long while. refreshing in a way, too fucking cold in another. and snow! holy hell, lotsa snow. s'alright, if i remember correctly it'll be far too hot in about six months time. okay.
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new job, okay job. learning all i can about the vulgar business of commercial production, part of a small team so i get to feel essential. badass computer and a certain amount of freedom, this is good. regular paychecks don't hurt either... don't even mind the 9-5 grind much after a year of slacking off, though this could be because i don't usually start until 10... could also be because i don't exactly have much of a life right now. what else would i be doing?
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i have about 5 friends in toronto now, in 3 distinct groups which are unlikely to merge. somehow it always seems i make lots of different friends, but few really close friends, and never a solid core group. will work on this, but the last few years have been a drifting of sorts, separating from peers and generally drawing away; has left me fairly isolated at times (most times). workin...
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off pot and off cable (though still watch free tv sometimes). it's been about a month since a fix of either, and i do notice a difference. just feel more... here. and the world is fucking boring. groan. though maybe it's me, maybe i'm boring and the rest of the world is fine... but isn't it easier to blame the other guy? either way, hopefully this helps generate incentive to do... something. we'll see. up next: dating and eating right.
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heh. sure...
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music: John Cale; Fear / Vintage Violence / Slow Dazzle

 

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